


To All The Boys Rhodey's Loved Before

by kjstark



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before Fusion, Canon Character of Color, Canon Disabled Character, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Rhodey Birthday Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16206830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjstark/pseuds/kjstark
Summary: So Rhodey did what he had always done when he had liked a boy too much to do anything about it, all the four times it happened.He wrote him a love letter.Only five times had Rhodey done this. Ricky from Scout Camp, Adam from Model UN, James from seventh grade, and that one time in the Homecoming dance he wanted to see if he liked girls with Carol. Sam was officially the fifth piece of paper in his secret, little gray box.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> As the title very clearly suggests, this is a 'To All The Boys I've Loved Before' remake. It is almost a complete rip-off from the Netflix film (because I didn't have time to read the book written by Jenny Han), except they're both boys, and they're both disabled, and one of them is black. 
> 
> This was done to celebrate Rhodey's 50th birthday, during the [Rhodey Birthday Celebration Week](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/rhodeybirthdaycelebrationweek).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things to note:
> 
>   1. This fic is set in an alternate 2018. Mainly one in which Rhodey's birthday fell on a Thursday instead of today (Saturday), purely for story purposes. Everything else is the same.   
> 
>   2. English isn't my first language and I'm not and never have lived in the U.S., so I apologize for any misconception I have of school systems and high-school culture yadayada, I wanna live in a mostly-positive bubble. (Also, Water Polo is cool and I don't know if there are school with actual Water Polo teams but there should be if not.)  
> 
>   3. In that same sense, huge shoutout to [Shannon](http://natashalieromanov.tumblr.com/), who helped me make this not look as bad as it did (at least this first half). Thanks!! 
> 


Rhodey is soaring, up high in the blue sky, and then he's falling like a leaf, gliding through the thin, fresh air. Sam catches him before he touches the ground, flashes one of his crooked-teeth smiles and grunts humorously **,** ‘I can’t always catch you, Jimmy'. Sam wants to be Pararescue, Rhodey wants to be Flight Fighter. They both love flying.

But Rhodey loves it more, Sam is more interested in running track and chasing skirts.

Rhodey is more interested in photography and writing letters to the boys he's loved.

Because, yeah, he likes boys.

His longest friend Sam, as of lately, more specifically.

But Sam can’t know because Rhodey would be forced to flee to Fiji out of sheer embarrassment. Mostly because of course he’d end up becoming a cliché. Poor gay boy in love with his closest male straight friend.

 _Bold of you to assume I'm straight_ , Sam's imaginary form tells him as he lies down on the mattress next to him. Rhodey is staring at the light blue ceiling of his room, with the tiny stars and spaceship stickers.

 _I have talked to you about this. Sam has never mentioned being into guys or even slightly suggested it_ , Rhodey muses.

 _There's a thing called denial_ , imaginary Sam says, rolling in the bed to sit up. 'Maybe you can be the one to make me realize it,' he adds, quirking one flirty eyebrow like Rhodey's seen him do to girls a thousand times.

 _Denial is what I'm in. Talking to you in my head about this_ , Rhodey mutters, sitting back, his shoulders down.

Summer was about to be over and his crush on Sam was officially getting into dangerous territory.

He could not start his junior year miserably pinning after one of his best friends, who was also his neighbor. So Rhodey did what he had always done when he had liked a boy too much to do anything about it, all the four times it happened.

He wrote him a love letter.

Only five times had Rhodey done this. Ricky from Scout Camp, Adam from Model UN, James from seventh grade, and that one time in the Homecoming dance he wanted to see if he liked girls with Carol. Sam was officially the fifth piece of paper in his secret, little gray box.

 _'Dear Sam...'_ he began, pouring his heart out with the thick, black ink of his pen. And he addressed it, but as always, sealed it close and put it inside the box along with the others. To remain untouched, unread.

He's closing the box when the doorbell rings, and just as he's throwing the box under his bed his mom knocks on the door. "Come in," he says.

Roberta opens the door just enough to peek her head in. "Sam's downstairs. Says he wants to know if you're up for basketball," she asks.

Oh, no. He can't take another afternoon of seeing Sam in shorts and a loose jersey.

"I wanna do some reading before classes start," he says.

Roberta blinks. "That's next week.”

"Three days," Rhodey corrects his mother, and she sighs.

"Fine," she mutters before closing the door, but there's a feeling in the deep of his mother's eyes Rhodey can't quite read. It's been a lot like that since the accident, years ago. Rhodey's wanted to ask her about it sometimes but fears what his mother might say.

And no, before you wonder, she knows her boy isn't straight. She was the first person he told.

The second was Tony. Wonder-kid Tony. Richy Rich Tony.

Tony had come into his life about six months after his accident. His dad was crazy famous and a first-class asshole. Tony would get in trouble nearly every week just to get on his old man's nerves.

Rhodey met him in chemistry. He was very knowingly making a Molotov cocktail. "What the hell are you doing?" Rhodey had muttered in shock back then.

"Relax. It's for my dad's birthday," Tony had answered. Rhodey had thought he was genuinely crazy.

But one day, Professor Richards had them paired up and Rhodey had to go to his house to make their project.

Seeing a father slap the forearm of his nine-year-old son with a swift, fierce swing made Rhodey boil inside. He became Tony's best friend not long after.

Tony almost held a pride party when Rhodey told him he thought he was into boys. He stole one of Howard's expensive bottles and told Rhodey they had to toast.

"To what exactly?" Fourteen-year-old Rhodey had asked, glass shaking in his nervous hand.

"To not being straight," Tony had said proudly raising his glass. Coming out to him, too.

Rhodey still kept the _We're here, we're queer, get used to it_ shirt Tony made for them the next year.

He considers calling him to talk to him about his love crisis but knowing Tony, he's either busy inventing flying cars or would provide Rhodey with terrible plans that end up exposing him to Sam.

And he's already decided Sam just can't know.

 

The next night when he's having dinner with his mom and his little sister, Roberta blurts, "By the way, I talked to Gordon about the truck a few weeks ago and he told me this afternoon he's fixed it all good. I was thinking it should be yours, since the only ride I need I get already with Susan," she explains, a big smile on her face.

"You're giving me the car?" Rhodey asks in disbelief.

"Only if you're comfortable with driving, that is," she adds, voice turning soft.

Rhodey looks down at his braces over his legs under the table. He's okay with riding in a car and he's already passed his driving test a few months back, but he's never considered how his mom might feel about it.

"I'm good if you're good," Rhodey says, almost aching to reach over to grab his mother's hand.

Roberta swallows and smiles. "I know you'll be safe," she says.

Rhodey only knows keeping his girls safe. And keeping himself safe helps that. After all, he's the man of the house.

-o-

"Smile," his mother's yelling behind the lens of the camera. He stands with Jeanette next to him, both of them holding signs of the grade they're about to start. He 11th, she 6th.

The halls of the school are as crowded and noisy as expected. He spots Sam by his filled-of-bird-stickers locker and waves him and then by the end of the hall he sees Tony squeezing a grape juice box staring at SHIELD athlete’s body.

He stops just by him, in his own locker and looks over his shoulder. Steve Rogers is wearing a white v-neck under his school king-blue jacket. Tony's drooling out of his straw.

"Try not to get a nosebleed, there, man," Rhodey mutters, putting his geometry book inside his locker.

"I'm honestly so pissed right now. He's wearing khakis. _Khakis_. Like this isn't 2018," Tony comments, making a face.

Rhodey turns to look and chuckles once he sees. Steve also has dark grandpa shoes. He's like the whole jock package but with a dash of art class kid. Weird.

But not as weird as his right hand man, James "Not Dean" Barnes. Who also happened to be James from seventh grade. Yeah, one of the non-recipients of his love letters.

James had been his first public kiss with a boy. Not that they ever talked about it. It was at Clint Barton's birthday party and they all had a 'no gender-boundary rule'. They were all a bunch of kids, but Clint claimed he'd seen his older brother Barney play spin the bottle like that so it was cool.

Rhodey wasn't the first same-gender kiss that night. Pepper got Maya in her first turn and a lot of the boys got excited from then on. Rhodey was just really trying to fit in.

The kiss was quick and short and entirely inconsequential, but it was all Rhodey thought for the following three weeks. Until he wrote his letter. Then he didn't think of James Barnes again.

Barnes -'Bucky' to some- was almost entirely opposite to Rogers. All dark and quiet, with a permanent bun to wrap his long-ish wavy brown hair and a black leather jacket. He looked like he'd seen all the darkness in the world that Steve hadn't. Barnes wasn't particularly all gloom and doom, but he wasn't as welcoming as his life-long best friend. Who a lot of people seemed to think he had been dating this whole time.

Until an exchange student called Natasha came into school and promptly swept Barnes off his feet. Suddenly, he became charming and popular and the captain of the water polo team, even with his disability.

Sam, who was closer to Steve than he was to Rhodey himself, hated him just a little. Barnes always opposed Sam's suggestions in the athletic committee meetings they held every two months or so and also because he wanted his jock best friend to himself.

Plus, according Sam, Barnes hasn't seen a single Harry Potter movie and that's just unforgivable on Sam's book.

Rhodey's not a big fan of it himself, but he never tells Sam that.

"Tony," Steve nods at his friend, just as he passes by them. Tony smiles a fake smile and turns his back to his locker.

Steve smiles politely at him and Rhodey returns it, if not a little awkwardly.

"Rhodes," Barnes says, next to Steve. Rhodey gives him a sign with two of his fingers and then they're both gone.

He keeps watching them walk away until Rhodey catches Steve giving Sam a bro hug before they all disappear through the crowd.

When he turns back again, the bell’s already rang and he sees Tony's clumsy, small body running to his classroom.

If Rhodey spends the entire time waiting for lunch at the bleachers with Sam, he's fully ready to bullshit himself about it later. Besides, Tony ditched him for Subway.

"This is from Kendrick's new album," Sam shares, handing Rhodey the other earphone.

He listens to the music and eats his chicken sandwich and doesn't think about his crush on Sam. Only about the words he wrote on his letter and how he feels less burdened by his feelings. He feels like he's healing, like he's slowly passing over the bridge.

He goes to pick up Jeanette and hears her go on about her exciting new day and feels an amused kind of jealous. Like remembering how much easier it all was when he was her age a few years back.

He sees her strap the pink bike helmet on again and rolls his eyes. "Really? I aced my driving test, you know.”

"It's not just about you, Jimmy," she says, clicking the seatbelt.

Rhodey doesn't fight her logic, Jeanette wasn't there but he can imagine how she might be frightened. He sighs and puts the car in reverse, and just a short second after he moves, he hits something on the back.

The review mirror gives him a James Barnes standing with his arms open. Dammit.

He moves over Rhodey's window and taps it with his knuckle. "Hi," he says sarcastically once Rhodey's rolled down the glass.

"Hi," Rhodey mutters, embarrassed.

"How are you? All good?" He asks, again. Rhodey just nods, ready for it to be over. "You know, people usually check behind them before they reverse, to avoid killing others. It's a thing we do," he explains, condescendingly.

Rhodey nods. "Yeah, well, I know that, I was just, you know, thinking about something and I didn't check. I'm sorry," he says.

"Always the dreamy-eyed guy, aren't you, Rhodes?" He says and smiles widely. "You think you can make it out of the parking lot without flying back up to the skies in that head of yours?" He asks and Rhodey can see why Sam might hate him a little.

"We're fine," Rhodey says.

"Ok, sure, Rhodes. Little Rhodes," he says and points out to a cracking up Jeanette. "You're in charge."

Jeanette smiles and Rhodey waits until he's far enough before he pulls the window up again and starts the car again.

"Who was that?" His little sister asks.

Rhodey breathes out, "That was James Barnes."

-o-

A few days later, he and Jeanette have the house to themselves due to their mother working the night shift. Rhodey's tangled in his cozy blanket, watching Golden Girls, when Jeanette asks, "Don't you find it kinda depressing that it's Saturday night and you're having a Golden Girls marathon with your little sister?"

Rhodey chuckles and shakes his head. "Nope. I love the Golden Girls and I love my little sister," he says before playfully pulling one of her braids.

Jeanette pulls herself up just a little. "I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad," she begins. "But, Jimmy, I'm 11 and I canceled plans to be here tonight and, well, you're almost 16 and I don't think you had anything else going on, am I right?"

They're not kidding when they say kids can be mean.

"Wow, that hurt," Rhodey says, his hand on his chest.

"It be like that with the truth sometimes," she replies, before going back to resting her head on her pillow.

-o-

Jeanette finds the box in her brother’s messy room almost hilariously easy. She puts the letters in the mailbox overnight, by the time Rhodey's drooling into his cushion, without even bothering to read them. If it was a big deal, surely Rhodey would have mentioned it.

-o-

"Can you believe he DM’d me to ask if I could fix his laptop? What am I, the tech guy?" Tony complains, panting.

Rhodey shakes his head and takes a breath. "Well, you guys have computer class together, right? I'm sure he's caught on the fact that you're a little genius," he says, smiling.

"Well, still, but a guy a soda first," Tony shrugs and Rhodey just smiles, keeping up the pace.

"Hey!" Rhodey hears behind him. "Can we talk?" Barnes says, stepping in between them. Rhodey moves his head just slightly to notice Barnes means him.

"Me?" He still asks.

"Yo', Jimbo, I heard Natasha dumped you for high school's less-gay version of Legolas. That true?" Tony asks, jogging backwards to face Barnes.

"I heard you're actually a robot, that true?" Barnes retorts.

"Yep. I actually have a nightstand right inside my chest, it makes up for gorgeous sex lighting, very artistic," he jokes back.

"Ok. I need to— speak to Rhodes. Alone," Barnes tries again, just slightly tired.

Tony takes an exhausted breath and looks at Rhodey, who shrugs helplessly. "Fine. If you need me— I'll be in the nurse's office. With a migraine. Googling Chris Pine shirtless," he adds, just a little disoriented before disappearing into the high school building.

"Look, I just wanted to say— and I appreciate it, but, you know, it's never gonna happen," Barnes says, waving his right hand around, as though embarrassed.

Rhodey doesn't know if it's his jog but he's a little lost, too. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Alright, from what I remember that kiss wasn't bad, you know, for being in seventh grade," he says, but Rhodey's still not following. He looks around them just for a sec and then back at Barnes before he sees it. A _very_ recognizable piece of paper. "I think it's really cool you think my eyes look like the sky when the sun shines bright in the morning—," he says, but Rhodey's no longer listening. All he's seeing is bright white lights and his chest is closing tightly.

Rhodey mouths a no before he feels his head too hot and his knees fail.

"I don't know what you hoped to accomplish— woah!" Barnes yells in the back but Rhodey's head is spinning gone. "Can I get some help here?"

The bottle spins and spins.

 _You have the softest lips_ , he had written.

"Wake up," Barnes yells and Rhodey's eyes slip open. The mentioned soft lips are the first thing he sees.

"What happened?" Rhodey groans.

"You fainted," Barnes replies.

"Oh, okay," he mutters, still lying on the track.

"Here, give me your hand," Barnes says, pulling his right hand. "The other one, too," he adds and grabs the left. Rhodey tries not to focus too much on the feeling of Barnes' prosthetic hand when he's already sitting. "Come on, you got this. Here we go, and you're up. Ok, you want me to call someone, get you water or something?"

Rhodey rubs the back of his head. "No, I'm okay." His braces feel fine, along with his hip. It was really just the crushing, slowly piercing pain of good ol' humiliation.

"Are you sure?" Barnes wonders.

But Rhodey catches Sam walking right into the field, his light-green colored letter on his hand.

Quick, how does someone fake his own death?

"Oh my God," Rhodey blurts, in a non-physical agony. Before he can really think about it, he flips Barnes over and kisses him into the ground. It's messy and it's more about Rhodey throwing his weight at Barnes than anything but it does the trick.

"Hey! Stop that!" Coach Cardenas yells at them. "Two more laps for you, Rhodes!" He adds.

Rhodey stands back up slowly and tells Barnes a light-hearted 'thank you' before he's running again. Right past Sam stunned face and into the bathroom.

He hides in a stool and takes a deep breath before he hears the door opening. "Hey, Jimmy boy, are you in here?" someone asks.

Rhodey closes his eyes. "Nope?" He answers. And then he sees someone sliding a pink piece of paper right under the door.

Carol Danvers.

His one try with girls.

Carol had been sitting miserably in her dark, ripped jeans and her high pony tail. Humming to the Cindi Lauper playlist the DJ had set.

 _"Can I sit here?"_ Rhodey had asked. And that's how the night started.

Carol wanted to be in the Air Force, too. And she wanted a short haircut but her mom wasn't allowing it. "I think you'd look good either way," he had told her. Genuinely. Carol was the most beautiful girl of his course.

She had given him a kiss on the cheek after he walked her back home, and he had gone to his own room to write the letter.

 _I really wish I liked girls just so I could be in love with you_ , he put.

"Look, I don't mean to pry but I just saw you run in here and I wanted to make sure you were okay, and, uh— though you might want that back. It seemed a little bit personal," she said over the wall.

Rhodey looked down. "Carol, I wrote that years ago.”

"Freshman Homecoming, right?"

Rhodey steps outside and faces her. With a brown-green jacket, Carol sports her side-cut blonde hair and dark-red lips.

"I had a lot of fun that night, too," she says. "And I think it's awesome we found each other like that, given that you like boys and I like girls. I— I would be in love with you, too, if I liked guys," she adds, her smile curving upwards only one corner.

Rhodey smiles back but just out of politeness. By then he's already plotting just how much his trip to Yemen to hide is gonna cost his mom.

He gets home faster than usual and twists his bedroom apart. "Momma! Have you seen a little gray box?" He yells, running into the kitchen.

"Oh, so, no 'hello, mom. How was your day?—"

"Mom, I mean it," he begged.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it went away with the boxes we set for Goodwill," she says.

Rhodey's muttering no's endlessly in his head.

 _The letters are out. They're out. There's nothing you can do about it. You just gotta stay here until they come up with rumors that you just suddenly died_ , Rhodey thinks, panicking.

 _You oughtta relax_ , imaginary Sam says, sitting in one of Rhodey's puffs. _So, now I know you're in love with me_ , he says, grinning smugly.

 _Crushing after. Big difference_ , Rhodey corrects.

_“Dear Sam, I lay awake at nights and imagine myself running the tip of my hands on your face. Feeling your strong arms aro—"_

_Shut up_ , Rhodey cuts his thoughts.

"Who are you talking to?" Jeanette asks him by the door and Rhodey turns from looking at the window.

"Uh— myself," he says, honestly.

The doorbell rings and then his mother yells, "Rhodey, Sam is here!"

Rhodey looks at his little sister and back at the window. "You never saw me," he tells her before jumping out of the window.

 

He rides his electric scooter to Bob's café and asks for a cold Coke just to angrily drink his sorrows away.

"Hey, Rhodes," someone addresses him. Rhodey turns to find Barnes in his characteristic man-bun and leather jacket. Rhodey takes a bigger gulp of his drink.

Rosy comes from the back room. She puts a hand on Rhodey's shoulder. "Anything for your friend?" she asks.

"He's not with me—,"

"I'd like a strawberry shake. Thanks", Barnes interrupts.

"Sure," Rosy says before going behind the counter.

"So, what you doing here?" Rhodey tries to sound casual, like he's not dreading every bit of this encounter.

"What do you mean? I'm just here to take down one of those strawberry shakes." Barnes replies.

"Oh, cool.”

"Actually, I stopped at your house and your sister said that you'd probably be here," Barnes says, turning on his stool. "Look I just wanna be _super_ clear," he begins, his hands doing that little wavy motion he does when he's trying to get something out of his chest. "I'm flattered. I am— but, like, Nat and I just broke up so—,"

"Are you trying to reject me right now?" Rhodey interrupts.

"Well, yeah. Because it didn't seem like it took— back, the first time," he says, narrowing his brow.

Rhodey almost laughs. "James Barnes, I'm not looking to date you," he assures.

"Yeah, no, but see, your mouth is saying something but then your _mouth_ said something completely different," Barnes retorts.

"What?" Rhodey mutters as Rosy gives Barnes his shake.

"Thanks," he says.

Rhodey adjusts on his seat. "So here's the thing, I don't actually like you," he says, watching Barnes sip on his drink. "I just had to make it look like I like you so someone else wouldn't think that I like them," he explains.

"Oh, okay. 'Them', who?" He asks.

"What?" Rhodey says.

Barnes moves one shoulder up. "Well, you gotta tell me who this mystery person is, otherwise I'm gonna go on believing that you have a secret tattoo with my face."

"No." Rhodey shakes his head.

"So, should I tell the rest of the school you wrote me a love letter?"

"Okay, okay, fine. It's Sam Wilson." he admits.

"Wilson? From track? I thought he wasn't into guys," Barnes says.

"Yeah, well, I don't think he is either, but he also got a letter so, you can see how awkward and complicated that one's gonna get if he thinks—”  

"Wait, wait, hold on, stop. I am not the _only_ guy that got a letter?" Barnes cuts in, almost sounding offended. Rhodey just shakes his head. "Wow, you really think you're special and then you find out that he wrote love letters to two guys," he mutters.

"I wrote five letters, so don't go on feeling special," Rhodey says.

"You wrote _five_ love letters? Damn, Rhodes, you're a player," Barnes says to Rhodey’s nod. "Who else did you write letters to?"

"If I tell you, you'll leave me alone?"

"Maybe," Barnes mutters.

"Okay, Carol Danvers," Rhodey says.

Barnes frowns. "She's gay. Wait— so are you, right?"

"I was testing something," he says, looking back to his drink.

"Alright, who else?"

"Uhm, someone from camp and someone that I went to model UN with in the fifth grade," he says, picking up his stuff. "So, are we good here?" He asks Barnes after stepping out of his stool.

"Yeah, uh, we're good," Barnes says and then Rhodey makes to go. "Wait, wait, that blue grandpa-in-a-mall ride is yours?"

Rhodey nods. "Yeah."

He doesn't say no when Barnes offers to take him back in his shiny silver Jeep Wrangler, that made Rhodey’s little red Toyota Tacoma back home look way older than it actually was.

"Thanks for driving me," Rhodey says as they park in front of his house. "Sorry for the whole jumping on you thing," he adds.

"Could've been worse, right?" Rhodey regards him with a look.

Guessed he never considered Barnes could actually be into guys, but now that he thought about it, he definitely gave off a bi-vibe.

"So, what are you gonna say to Wilson?" He asks, just before Rhodey clicks the seat belt button.

"I guess I'm gonna have to tell him the truth," Rhodey sighs.

"Yeah, but, uh, what _is_ the truth? I mean, do you like him? Do you not like him?" he asks as Rhodey unbuckles his seatbelt.

"That's not your problem, James," Rhodey says politely.

Rhodey takes the scooter from the back of the truck and rolls it through the grass towards his front yard but Barnes holds onto the chair, stopping him.  

"Hey, hold on," Barnes says. "What if you didn't tell him?" He asks.

Rhodey frowns. "What?"

"Yeah. What if— we let people think that we're actually together?" He says. "Just for a while. And not just Wilson, I mean, everybody," he adds.

" _Why_ would we do that?" Rhodey says, almost amused.

"Well, Natasha asked me why you kissed me and I'm pretty sure it's 'cause she was jealous. So, if we make her think we're a thing, she might realize she still wants me, and we can get back together," Barnes explains.

Rhodey nods slightly. "Oh, so you want to use me as your pawn?"

"Mmm, no, see, technically you used me as your pawn first when you jumped me," he reminds Rhodey.

Fair point.

"Look, you don't have to give me an answer right now, alright? Just think about it." Barnes adds as Rhodey continues to make his way back into his house.

"Yep. Don't hold your breath," he says, almost decided.

Rhodey's been lying on his bedroom floor for two and a half hours just pointedly _not_ answering Sam's calls or texts.

 _Look, can you just call me_? imaginary Sam begs from the bed.

 _Stop_ Rhodey says.

 _“There's so much I wanna talk to you about_ —"

_Shush—_

_“Music I wanna share with you,_ ,” Sam says, now lying next to him on the carpeted floor. “ _Tattoos I wanna get with you_ —,"

_Stop. This isn't real._

_“We'd be so great together,”_ Sam mutters.

 _"Oh my God, shut it"_ , an imaginary Barnes says. All smug in his hell-sent jacket. “ _Cool trick, right_?” he adds, his chin moving just slightly up towards the empty space next to Rhodey.

No imaginary Sam in sight.

“ _Wanna see me do it again?”_ he offers.

Rhodey can figure how.

Which is why Rhodey finds himself stepping into the pool building during the early Polo practice.

"Yo', Barnes," he yells. Barnes glances at him, and Rhodey watches Barnes step out of the pool and make his way towards him while drying his hair.

"What?" he asks, tying the towel around his hip.

"Let's do it," Rhodey says, determined.

Barnes smiles widely and that's the first time Rhodey's seen him smile. But he doesn't have much time to dwell on that because Barnes puts a wet hand on his hip and leans down to kiss him, wet wavy hair splashing Rhodey's cheeks.

Rhodey has to put a hand on his shoulder and give him a light push just to get him to part. He does a little turn to find both the Polo team and the swimming girl team staring at them.

Crazy idea, indeed.

"I'm going to trig," Rhodey says, acting casual. "Have a nice day," he tells him. "Carry on," he yells to the audience, before he makes his exit.

He DMs Barnes not long after; they have to meet after school.

"So, first we need to have a contract so we're on the same page about the rules," he says. They're sitting on a bench just outside the football field. Barnes is waiting for Rogers to be done.

"You got rules? Come on, you really know how to zap the fun out of a situation," Barnes mutters, sitting with his back towards the table.

"Well, it's important to know where you stand on certain issues," Rhodey says, moving his shoulder up a little.

Barnes chuckles. "Like what?"

"Well, for example, I don't want you to kiss me anymore," Rhodey says.

Barnes' mouth falls a little open. "Are you crazy? Who's gonna believe we're in a real relationship if I'm not allowed to kiss you?"

Rhodey turns his lips in a thin line. "You know, you might be the James Dean of this sort of stuff but I've never had a boyfriend," he says.

Barnes just shakes his head. "You have the references of an 80-year-old woman. Why does that matter?"

"I don't wanna go around making out with guys if it's gonna be fake. I'm gonna do it for real," Rhodey replies.

"Okay, but, you kissed me first!”

Rhodey looks back to his notebook. "This is non-negotiable.”

Barnes sighs and steps from the bench. "Fine. But we need to figure something out because people are gonna get very suspicious if I'm not allowed to touch you," he says, moving to stand in front of Rhodey sitting on the table. "Also, no more 'James', okay? I don't like it. It's Bucky," he adds.

"Then I guess you gotta call me Rhodey, then. Or Jimmy, but I'm not fond of that one much anymore," Rhodey says and Barnes—Bucky— nods. "And, okay, how about this? You can put your hand in my back pocket," Rhodey says. "Of course, not always, because some teachers might not like it but, you know, in the hall, when it's crowded, or the cafeteria."

Bucky narrows his eyes. "Hand in your back pocket? What the hell is that?"

"Sixteen Candles? It's the opening image," Rhodey trails. "It's a couple's thing."

"Yeah, maybe in the 70's..."

"Sixteen candles was the 80's. John Hughes?" Rhodey asks but Bucky is just shrugging, hopeless. "Nothing?" A shake of head. "Okay, one more rule, you have to watch Sixteen Candles because it's a classic. And the last rule: we can never tell anyone this relationship is fake because it would be too humiliating for both of us." Rhodey finishes.

"Duh, first rule of Fight Club," he says. Rhodey rolls his eyes. "Oh, so the Candles is okay but not Fight Club?" He says, raising his eyebrows.

Rhodey just smiles. "Anything else?"

"I could— I could write you those little sticky notes thing. One every day," he says, maybe a little softly.

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah. I always found them a little cheesy but it'd, you know, make people really buy the whole thing. After all, we didn't hang out that much before, right?"

"Romantic," Rhodey says.

"And you have to come to my games and to parties," Bucky adds.

"Then you have to drive me and my sister to school every single day.”

"Alright," Bucky agrees, taking the notebook off his hands. "But you're coming with me on the ski trip," he says, writing in the notebook.

Woah. The SHIELD High ski trip was infamous for being the location where more students lost their virginity than Senior Week and prom combined.

"That's, like, months away from now. Do you really think we're still gonna be doing this by then?" Rhodey wonders.

"Let's call it a contingency," Bucky says. "Look, no one in their right mind is gonna let their boyfriend go on that trip without them, so, if we are still doing this by the time it comes around, you have to go with me," he explains.

Rhodey knows it won't get that far, so he agrees.

The next morning, he stops Jeanette mid-way to getting her helmet. "Wait. I'm not driving us to school today. Are you sure you need that?"

Jeanette looks to the side like she's second-guessing it. "Will you be embarrassed if I wear it?" she asks, looking down.

Rhodey pats her head. "Nope. I just wonder how you feel," he says.

"I guess I can try. I don't wear one when I go with Mom and Mrs. Anderson," she says.

Rhodey hears a honk outside. "Are you sure?" He says, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack.

Jeanette nods with a smile but then loses it. "Wait, it's not Stark driving us, right?" She asks, a hand on his forearm.

Rhodey shakes his head, chuckling. Yeah, he doubts he's ever getting in a car with Tony in this lifetime.

They get outside and Bucky steps outside the car just a little. "You both ready?"

Jeanette smiles widely. "Hell yeah," she says.

They get inside the car and Bucky looks over to Jeanette from the review mirror. "Hey, little Rhodes, what is that?"

"This is an almond and cereal power bar with cinnamon and star anise. And my name, thanks for asking, is Jeanette Anne Rhodes. Jeanne to my friends. You can call me Jeanette," his sister says.

Bucky nods. "Yes, ma'am," he says. "She's feisty," he tells Rhodey.

"Jeanne put on your seatbelt," Rhodey says.

Jeanette does as told. "So, how exactly do you know my brother again?"

Bucky smiles and turns a little to Jeanette. "Well, I guess I'm his boyfriend," he answers, just when Rhodey's taking a sip of his water.

He pats himself on the back mentally just for succeeding at not choking.

"Hey, can I try one of those?" He asks for a protein bar and Jeanette hands it to him. He takes one big bite and hums. "Wow, that is really good— hey, what do I have to do to get you to bring me one of these tomorrow?"

"You're driving us again tomorrow?" Jeanette asks, excitedly.

"Yeah, of course," Bucky smiles back.

"Okay, you can call me Jeanne," Rhodey's sister declares happily.

Bucky turns the engine on and then leans towards Rhodey in the passenger seat. "Progress," he mutters, before they take off to school.

And just like Rhodey suggested, in the convoluted crowd of the hall to the way to the cafeteria, Bucky sneaked his hand into Rhodey's back-pocket while the people paying attention watched.

All the way to Rhodey's locker they walked like that, just a few steps that felt like the longest Rhodey had ever taken.

But he passed by Sam's questioning face and even Natasha's surprised one.

"Good job," Barnes whispers into his ear just when they've reached Rhodey's locker. When he parts from Rhodey's personal space, he puts a hand on the locker, sticking something to it.

 _Have a nice day, babe_ it reads in stylish blue handwriting. The corner of Rhodey's mouth draws up before he can notice and when he turns back again, Bucky's already gone.

"Am I fucking high right now?" Tony asks behind him. "Like, are my eyes deceiving me? You and less-hot Warren Peace?" Tony says, his eyebrows rising funny.

"Seriously? Sky High references?" Rhodey retorts. "And, yeah, I know. I'm as surprised as you are," he trails.

"Why didn't you tell me you were into him?" Tony says, poking him on the arm.

Rhodey takes a breath. "Well, it's not like you told me you were into his best friend," Rhodey says. He knows is a low blow, considering he doesn't like Bucky, but, first rule of Fight Club...

Tony zips his mouth and then nods. "I— whatever," he gives up, rolling his eyes. "Are we up tonight for LoL?" He offers. "I can FaceTime you so you tell me all about your new punk boyfriend," he adds.

"Bucky's not punk," Rhodey says.

"What kind of nickname is Bucky, though?" Tony says, wrinkling his nose.

"Says the one who came up with 'Rhodey'," he trails.

"Hey, first of all, you love 'Rhodey'. And second, you refused to let me call you Jimothy," Tony jokes.

"I will not be caught dead getting called Jimothy, Tones," he says, and Tony just laughs.

"Alright, lover-boy, I'll see you later," Tony says, giving him a pat on the shoulder and heading to his class.

-o-

He's two hours into Minecraft, waiting for Tony to report in so they can start League of Legends when there's a heavy knock on the door.

He finds Bucky behind it when he opens. "Hey— what?" Bucky asks, frowning.

"What's up?" Rhodey asks, pulling the blanket tighter over his shoulder.

"Why aren't you ready? Didn't you catch my text? I sent you like five messages on Instagram," he says. "We're going to Odinson's party," he adds.

Rhodey just snorts. "I can't go to that," he says.

"Of course you can and you have to, parties are on the contract," Bucky says, raising his eyebrows.

Rhodey gaves a look behind and then turns again. "I just— I can't. I'm busy," he says.

"Yeah, doing what exac—" Bucky says, trying to look over his shoulder into the living room, where the game shows on the screen. "Oh my God, I'm dating a nerd," he mutters, his hand to his forehead.

"Honey, who is at the do— Bucky Barnes?" Rhodey's mother says from the stairs. "Sweetie, hi, come on in," she tells Bucky, who is all smiles and manners.

"Hi, Mrs. Rhodes," Bucky says, giving a hug to Rhodey's mom.

"I haven't seen you in ages. How's your mom?" Roberta asks, holding to both of Bucky's hands. "Last time I saw her was because your little sister scratched her knee open," she says.

"Yeah, Rebecca's always getting into trouble. She was trying to rescue a kitten from a tree that day, go figure," Bucky says, rolling his eyes a little.

"Some firefighter material there, then," Rhodey's mother jokes and Bucky chuckles. "What are you doing here?" she asks, walking over to the kitchen, the boys following after her.

Bucky puts a hand on Rhodey's shoulder and takes a breath. "Oh, I came to take Rhodey to a friend's party with me," he says, after tapping Rhodey's shoulder and then putting his hand back in his pocket.

Her mother opens the fridge to take a jar of water out and pour some into a glass and smiles. "I didn't know you guys were friends," she says, then takes a sip of her water.

Bucky presses his hands inside his pockets and looks back to Rhodey.

Rhodey rubs the back of his head as he goes: "Actually, mom, we're— sorta dating."

Roberta's eyes open widely in surprise but Bucky's smiling politely and Rhodey mentally sinks  three layers down into the ground. "Oh my God, _really_?" his mother asks exitedly

Next thing she's hugging Bucky again. Bucky huffs a warm laugh on her shoulder.

"Oh, my— I— I've been waiting for this to happen," she says. "Not with you, specifically— you're great, oh, my," his mother is stuttering and Rhodey doesn't even know how to feel anymore.

Bucky, however, is loving it.

"Well, honey, go get dressed, you can't go out like that," Roberta tells her son.

"No, mom. I was telling Bucky I can't go because—,"

"Oh, nonsense. You can play your games with Tony any other day, go out with your boyfriend," she says, pushing Rhodey towards the stairs. They watch him go and Roberta turns back to Bucky. "So, this party," she trails.

"Is right in the neighborhood and I promise I'll bring him back safe before 12," Bucky says, his hands clasped together.

"Alright. No drugs, no alcohol, no unsafe sex—,"

" _Mom_!" Rhodey yells from the up floor. Roberta just rolls her eyes.

"You don't need to worry about any of that, ma'am," Bucky assures, doing a little nod.

Roberta puts a hand on his cheek. "Such a nice boy," she says.

 

Rhodey zips his hoodie all the way up before Bucky knocks on the door of the huge mansion. "What are—," he is about to ask when he turns to see Rhodey's work. "You look like you're going to a veterans’ shelter," he says.

"What? You don't like the hoodie?" Rhodey asks.

Bucky turns fully and looks at it. "Let's just unzip—," he says, his tongue peeking out of his mouth as he unzips Rhodey's hoodie, but then he finds: "You're wearing a hoodie over a plaid _over a shirt_?"

Rhodey shrugs. "I thought I could get cold," he says.

Bucky lets out a deep breath. "Rhodes, I'm always wearing a jacket. If you get cold, I'll give it to you," he explains. "Let's just—," he says before he strips Rhodey off the red hoodie and throws it to the bushes.

"Hey!"

"It's _hideous_ ," Bucky cuts in. "Now, let's just unbutton this," he says, opening Rhodey's dark blue plaid over his white shirt. "There. Way better," he says.

Rhodey just shakes his head, looks back to the bushes where his poor, old hoodie went to and gives Bucky his profile for him to take a spontaneous pic out of nowhere.

"Hey..." Rhodey mutters, but Bucky's just looking at his phone, then puts it in his back pocket. 

"Give me your phone," he asks Rhodey, offering his open palm.

"What? Why?"

"Just give it, quick," he adds and Rhodey hands it to him with a frown.

Bucky just puts it up and hides his smile behind his closed fist, all lovey eyes into the camera. "That's just stupid," Rhodey mutters.

Bucky goes over his phone and hands it back. "And your new background," he says.

Rhodey looks at it. It's not terrible but that would never be the kind of picture he'd have taken. But Barnes doesn't care about Rhodey's hobby, so he keeps quiet.

"What about you?" Rhodey inquires.

Bucky waves a hand off and grabs his phone back. "Bro, I got it," he says, showing Rhodey the picture he just took of him looking another way. "Ya' ready?" He says, offering his open hand.

Rhodey takes it with a groan and Bucky knocks on the door.

 

High school parties are an entirely different kind of animal for James Rhodes. One scary, huge animal. He never really knows anyone there and it’s always loud and bad music.

Plus, there’s always someone puking near.

It’s why his grip on Bucky’s hand gets tighter by impulse. It makes Bucky turn back to him and then just give him a reassuring smile.

Next thing is just Bucky pulling him through the _enormous_ house while he waves almost everyone in sight. “My man!” Bucky yells once he’s found his friend.

Thor Odinson, co-captain of the football team with Steve, the dude is like straight out of a Greek novel. Or a Nordic one, if you want to be more accurate. He sports a long, blonde hair and is 6’3.

It’s safe to say he’s one of the most beautiful men in the entire school. Perhaps even the whole town.

Bucky’s done bro-hugging him when they turn to him. “Rhodey, you know Thor,” he says, pointing him to Rhodey.

Rhodey extends his hand but the man just up and lifts him up the floor in a tight hug. “Woah,” Rhodey mutters, but as soon as Thor lifted him, he put him back on the ground.

“He likes hugging, it’s a thing he does,” Bucky says, a hand on his shoulder. Rhodey just smiles politely to Thor, who, in return, smiles widely. “I’m gonna go get us drinks,” Bucky says, walking further into the house.

“So, Bucky says you guys are an item, now?” Thor says, back to his beer-pong table. He misses his shot by an inch.

“Yeah, I think so,” Rhodey shrugs.

“Know how to do this, Rhodes?” he asks and Rhodey turns to the table.

“Yeah, it’s just physics,” he explains. Thor raises his eyebrows, interested, and Rhodey shifts on his position to take a better look. With his palm, he measures the right angle for the ball to fall on the furthest cup. “Throw the ball here. Not too strong or it won’t bounce right,” he says.

Thor does just right and the ball makes a sound once it falls on the filled cup. Next second his lifting Rhodey up the floor again and giving him a spin.

“You’re gonna make him dizzy,” someone says once Rhodey’s back on the ground. He turns to find Steve Rogers.

“Hey,” Rhodey says, and Steve extends his hand in a fist for him to bump.

“You came with Bucky, I assume?” Steve asks, after he does the same with Thor, who is still focused on finishing his table of cups.

Rhodey nods slowly, his lips pressed.

Steve huffs a breath and gives him a look. “You know, I gotta tell you, I was really surprised,” he starts saying, heading to a couch that was nearby. He makes a motion with his head for Rhodey to follow him. “Not in a bad way, of course—I see you and, it works, but, I mean, I’m Bucky’s closest friend and I don’t know, he really kept quiet about this,” he says, in a polite smile.

Rhodey is about to begin stuttering when Bucky appears. “Hey, babe. There you go,” he says, giving him his cup from behind them on the couch. Then he jumps in to sit. “Hey, punk. I was looking for you,” he tells Steve.

“I just got here,” Steve says. “Was waiting for Sam to be done with some things before we came here—,” he says and Rhodey almost chokes on his drink.

“Sam’s here?” he blurts, between them.

Steve nods like it’s obvious. “Yeah, he’s part of the whole sports body. We always hang out— you guys are tight, right? He’s your neighbor,” he says, in an asking tone. Rhodey nods, hiding back behind his cup. “Well, he’s always talking about you,” he adds.

“Steve!” a blonde woman shouts from the pool side. Rhodey recognizes her from his math class. Something Carter. 

Steve excuses himself before leaving, ruffling Bucky’s hair on his way. In return, Barnes slaps his ass. “Jerk!” Steve let’s out.

“Punk!” Bucky replies.

“You didn’t tell me Sam was gonna be here!” Rhodey whispers once Steve is gone.

Bucky sips on his drink and shrugs. “I didn’t think about it,” he says. Then leans back on the couch, putting a hand over Rhodey’s shoulder. He takes his phone out and puts in front of them, selfie-mode. “Smile,” he says.

“Are you serious right now?” Rhodey mutters to his cheek.

“Yep,” Bucky says, smiling widely and takes the picture. “Look at that, it looks like you’re ready to murder me in my sleep,” he says. Rhodey looks at the picture and it’s true: Bucky has his goofy smile all wide and open and Rhodey is just staring at him in his sphinx-like face.

It makes Rhodey chuckle.

“There we go. That’s a smile,” Bucky says, trying for another picture. Then he gives Rhodey a kiss on the cheek and takes another one. “That’s cute, look at that. We’re so cute,” he jokes, putting his phone back in his pocket.

Rhodey looks at him for a second and then back to his hands on his lap.

Bucky takes another drink of his cup and says: “I’ll be right back. Don’t be shy, people here don’t bite,” he says, then winks at Rhodey before going away.

Rhodey watches him go but when he turns, he finds Sam’s been standing a few steps away. He stays stiff on the couch, bracing himself as he watches Sam about to walk towards him when there’s a hand on his shoulder.

“Rhodey?” Carol Danvers says, bending down to him on the couch.

“Hey,” Rhodey says, standing up to give her a hug.

She hugs him back tightly. “What are you doing here?” she asks, a smile on her face.

“I—I came with—,”

“Oh, right, Barnes. I forgot you guys are a thing now,” she says and then gives Rhodey a little devious smile. “Gotta say, you got taste, Rhodes,” she says.

Rhodey huffs a nervous laugh. “What about you? Are you part of a team or something?” he asks, later.

“No, but, um— my girlfriend is. She’s part of the gymnastics team. Jessica Drew, you may know her,” she says. Rhodey nods; he does know her.

“It would seem I’m not the only one with taste,” he says jokingly.

Carol cracks a laugh. “Oh, yeah, we both got a thing for leather jacket lovers,” she adds, rolling her eyes, amused.

Rhodey doesn’t notice he spends a long time talking to Carol when Bucky returns, all rushed and sober.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" He says, leaning to him sitting on the couch with Carol.

"Already?" He says, after checking his clock. It was only 9:42 p.m.

"Yeah, I thought we could grab something to eat before I drop you off," Bucky offers, then smiles politely to Carol.

"Oh, don't let me stop you," she says, taking the rest of her drink in one go. "It was nice seeing you, Rhodey," she then adds, putting a hand on his knee and taking off.

 

They go to Bob's and Bucky orders cheeseburgers for the both of them and "You want a strawberry shake?" he asks Rhodey.

Rhodey shakes his head a little. "I'd rather a frappuccino," he says.

"He's got a coffee addiction.” Bucky tells their waitress.

"You got no idea," she replies.

"Thanks, Mon,” Rhodey tells her, another childhood friend. Bucky just quirks an eyebrow.

They sit in silence and wait for their food to arrive. Bucky avoids looking at Rhodey and Rhodey just notices Bucky look at his phone and huff bitterly.

"So, you gonna tell me what happened or am I gonna have to ask?" Rhodey says, just casually. He knows caring about Bucky's shit isn't part of the contract but his mother raised him to be kind.

Bucky looks at him and then moves one shoulder, just a bit. "Nothing. I just wanted to get out of there," he says, a clear lie. Rhodey just gives him a straight look. "Alright, fine. Natasha keeps texting me," he says, just as their food arrives.

They smile at Monica and Rhodey takes a sip of his frap. "How is that a bad a thing?"

"Because," he starts but then he grabs a big bite of his food and chews it for a while before swallowing. "She says she only wants to be friends and I— I can't have that. You can't be _just_ friends with someone you're into," he adds.

Rhodey takes a bite of his burger and moves his head to one side. Bucky has a point.

"This is what you wanted to avoid with Wilson, innit?" he asks, after a sigh.

Rhodey frowns. “I mean—a little, but I’m not obsessed with Sam,” he says, raising his eyebrows to Bucky.

Bucky makes as if he’s swallowing hard his bite. “’m sorry? I’m not obsessed with Natasha,” he’s quick to say.

Rhodey presses his lips in a downwards curve. “Ya’ kinda are, though,” he says. Bucky just raises his eyebrows, lost of words. “Didn’t you say you guys are still texting? It’s weird you still text your ex-girlfriend,” Rhodey says, stuffing three fries in his mouth. “It’s not healthy,” he adds, after he’s swallowed.

One of Bucky’s eyebrows goes down as he says: “I’m sorry, you’re the expert? You’ve never even had a boyfriend,” he says.

“Well, you’ve only had one girlfriend and you’re completely obsessed with her, so, that— doesn’t necessarily make you The Bachelor,” Rhodey says. Bucky nods but it’s only sarcastic.

“Alright, one: I am _not_ obsessed with her,” he says, putting a finger on the table.

Rhodey leans tighter to the table, just slightly closer to Bucky. “Then prove it. Don’t text her tonight,” Rhodey says, daring him.

Bucky throws a fry into his mouth then licks his fingertips. “You know, for somebody who’s quiet all the time, you sure have a lot of opinions,” he mutters, narrowing his eyes at him.

“Or maybe I’m just the only one who’s been honest to you,” he says, smiling.

Bucky huffs a chuckle and looks down. “Ok, fine. Be honest with me then,” he says, but then his eyes turn tender, like he’s genuinely wondering. “Why have you never had a boyfriend?” Bucky asks and Rhodey closes his mouth, unsure. “Like, the entire high school doesn’t care that much as long as you don’t make a porn video or something, and I know your folks— _your_ _mom_ knows, so,” he trails, after correcting himself quickly.

He just shrugs, however. “I guess no one’s ever liked me like that,” he says.

“Lies. Those are lies—I know for a fact that Bruce Banner asked you to Spring Formal last year and you said no,” Bucky retorts.

Rhodey takes a sip of his drink then goes: “What? Are you keeping tabs on me?”  he says.

“Come on, Rhodes, talk to me,” he says, like they’ve been friends for ages and not a single week instead. “What happened to no secrets? Fight Club,” he says, and Rhodey smiles. 

There’s an easiness spirit to Barnes Rhodey can’t help but wish to keep close. An easygoingness about him that, somehow, made him trust worthy. So Rhodey takes a deep breath and goes: “Right, so love and dating? I think it’s great—in movies or books or shows, ya’ know? But…when it’s real…” he says, dropping a few notes at the end.

“What? It’s scary?” Bucky asks.

Rhodey just nods a few quick times. “Yeah,” he whispers.

“Why? Why is that scary?” he asks.

Rhodey hasn’t liked losing people since he was nine. He gets anxious just thinking about that kind of scenario.

“’Cause the more people you let into your life, the more they can just walk right out,” he says, looking at the table.

Bucky closes his mouth thin in an understanding gesture and nods. He probably doesn’t get it. “Just like— like your dad, right?” he says, softly.

Rhodey raises his head back up again and lets his mouth curve downward, an affirmative response.

Bucky grabs one more bite and Rhodey follows suit. After taking a drink of his shake, Bucky casts his eyes down and Rhodey just focuses. “Did you know—uhm, that my dad left us?” he says.

“Yeah, that was a while ago, right?” maybe around the time Bucky stopped being the regular kid kind he kissed while playing spin the bottle and turned into –damn Tony—this Warren Peace look alike in front of him.

“Two summers ago,” he replies. “He’s got a wife and a kid now.” 

“I’m sorry,” Rhodey says.

“Nah, it’s just—I don’t usually talk about it,” Bucky explains, giving a vague shrug. “I just felt like maybe you’d understand, ‘cause of your dad—not that is in anywhere near the same thing,” he’s quick to clarify, again.

Rhodey brushes his hand for a brief second, smiling. “It’s fine. I totally understand,” he assures. “It’s hard, huh?”

Bucky turns a shield on, just slightly, as he says: “It’s whatever.”

Rhodey’s been there, and he knows better than to push. “We don’t have to talk about it, but it’s not whatever,” he says.

They smile at each other politely, and set on finishing their food, Rhodey checks the clock on the wall and it’s just fifteen minutes to midnight.

Bucky’s just finished his drink when he abruptly says “I think it’s funny, you say you’re scared of commitment and relationships but you don’t seem to be afraid to be with me,” he says, his smile casual.

“There’s no reason to be,” Rhodey says, cleaning his mouth with a napkin.

“Yeah?” Bucky goes and adjusts in his seat, leaning over to Rhodey across the table. “Why is that?” he asks, whispering.

“’Cause we’re just pretending,” Rhodey says simply.

Bucky’s mouth turns into a pout and he looks another way, letting out a breath. “Right. Of course. James Rhodes, ladies and gentlemen, you can count on him to be honest,” he says, grabbing the bill. “Always,” he adds, but he sounds odd.

“Wait, Bucky. Are we cool?” he asks, following after Bucky as he’s about to make his way to the cashier.

“Yeah, we’re fine, Rhodes. Thanks for coming to the party with me tonight,” he says as they reach the counter.

Rosy smiles widely once she sees Rhodey and takes the bill from Bucky’s hands. “Oh, Jimmy, by the way, what are you doing on Thursday?” she asks, looking at the screen. Rhodey’s eyes open widely. “You and your family coming here like last year?” she asks further, taking Bucky’s card, who was quirking an eyebrow at their conversation.

“Uhm—no. We’re—we’re celebrating at our place,” he says, through his teeth.

Rosy hands back Bucky’s card and then looks at him. “Well, make sure to stop by on Thursday and I’ll give you one of those cold coffees you like. On the house,” she says, but Rhodey only falls quiet and smiles forcedly.

Bucky opens the door for him and Rhodey goes through it.

“What was that about?” Bucky asks, clicking on the buttons to open the doors of his car.

“Uh—nothing. Just…my birthday’s on Thursday,” he says as they go into the car. Bucky opens his eyes a bit and starts the car.

“Don’t you think your boyfriend should know?” he says, pointing at himself with a finger.

“A real boyfriend would know when my birthday is,” Rhodey says.

“Well, you just said I’m not real so…” he retorts.

Rhodey lets him have it, looks out the window. “It’s not a big deal. Just me and my mom and Jeanne, probably Tony, too. That’s it.”

“I gotta go,” Bucky says.

“No, you don’t, seriously, Bucky—,”

“What kind of boyfriend are they gonna think I am? This is about my image. I have to go,” he repeats.

Rhodey just looks at him and sighs. “Fine. But please don’t give me a huge, embarrassing present,” he says, giving him a stern look.

“Alright, I’ll try _not_ to be so creative,” he says just when they’re about to reach Rhodey’s house.

“Also, nothing at school, please. I don’t want people congratulating me all day.”

“ _Fine_ , Rhodes. I’ll keep it as small and personal as you wish. Boring.” he mutters.

Rhodey rolls his eyes and unlocks his seatbelt. Bucky shows him his fist and Rhodey bumps it, chuckling.

When he closes the door of his room, he sees Bucky’s Instagram post with the photo of them goofing around.

 _Had much fun with bae tonight_ , it reads, with a few emojis. Rhodey thinks it’s so tacky and cheesy but there’s a weird feeling in his gut.

 _You’re such a dork_ , he comments and puts the blushing emoji.

He doesn’t notice he was holding his breath until he lets it out, right after seeing Bucky reply to him with the kiss emoji.


	2. Part Two

Rhodey began the next week with the same routine of fake dating Bucky. He'd join him at the cafeteria when Tony ditched him for a sneaky ride to any fast food chain nearby and would hang out with him and his friends, Sam carefully sitting all the way across the table, glancing at him just every now and then.

Rhodey was still not answering his calls nor his texts. He wasn't even sure how to face Sam.

But Bucky's friends he got easily along with. And they weren't the basic type of athletic dumb boys or popular cheerleader mean girls. Thor -who liked to spin Rhodey around in the air because 'You're so tiny, Rhodes'- was into Shakespeare, claiming it was an acquired taste because of his brother. Steve was an overall nice guy, except he was a little too self-righteous sometimes. Bobby, from Bucky's polo team was great. He had just come out and was excited about how welcoming his friends had been; he was Rhodey's favorite because he'd always save him pudding.

"Stop trying to steal my man, Drake," Bucky would joke.

But Bobby was into some neighbor guy from another school.

Peggy and Sharon were Steve's backup. Tough and fierce and also cousins. They were also Natasha's best friends, so they didn't hang at the table so much.

Bucky would give him sticky notes every day like he said he would but Rhodey wouldn't even mind reading them, just stuffed them on his backpack and get on with his day.

 

"You said nothing on school, so," Bucky says in the car, handing him a tiny, cubed, carton box. Rhodey opens it to find a cupcake and a note. "Happy Birthday," he says, smiling.

"That's it?" Jeanette asks from the back seat. "No kiss, nothing? You don't have to pretend for me, you know," she adds.

Bucky lets out a chuckle and Rhodey turns to his sister. "Aren't you some nosey freak, huh?" He jokes.

Jeanette rolls her eyes and adjusts her seat belt. "You're such a vanilla boy, big brother," she mutters.

Bucky shakes in a silenced laugh, holding onto the steering wheel.

"Don't enjoy this," Rhodey says, but his face turns amused just a little.

Bucky looks over the review mirror. "Don't worry, Jeanne. I'll get some fun tonight," he jokes and winks at her through the mirror.

Jeanette just smiles. Rhodey is outnumbered.

 -o-

During lunch, Tony joins him and they go eat at the library. "So, you're not turning your birthday into some crazy, out of control party where I may or may not end up hooking up with Barnes' best friend, right?" He asks, chewing on his Wendy's bacon burger.

Rhodey dips his fry in his frosty and shakes his head. "You wish," he says. "It's just some quiet gathering, sing me happy birthday and be done with it. You know, I only do it for my mom. I don't even know why Bucky insists on going..." he says.

Tony just frowns. "'Cause you guys are dating? He wants to spend time with you? 'Cause it's your birthday and all the people who love you will be there?"

"Right. Except my dad," he replies and Tony falls silent, looking at the carpeted floor in the hall they're hiding, eating their illicit meal.

"Well, look on the bright side," Tony says as Rhodey bites a chunk of his burger. "At least you have an excuse to get some _good_ head tonight," he says.

Rhodey has to drink his whole glass of Coke to stop choking on his food a moment later.

 

He's staring at himself in the mirror wearing his v-necked, long sleeved red shirt and his dark jeans with the braces on top. He moves his head to one side and contemplates his sixteen years of existing. They haven't been bad but they could've been better.

He's not burden by his lack of full mobility without the help of his tech-legs but he is by the memory of his father.

It's been seven years since they lost him but Rhodey misses him just like the first day. Always does, might always will.

His lips are starting to turn into a downward curve when something hits him in the back of the head. "Hey!" he yells, only to find Tony standing by the door frame. His thick black glasses hanging loose, a bag of Gucci on his hand.

"Happy birthday, sourpatch," he says, handing him the bag.

"Are you crazy?" Rhodey says, huffing a laugh. "That could've cost more than anything on this room, including that T.V.," he says, Tony waves a hand and takes the bag back.

"Not 'could', it did. But I'm filthy rich, remember?" He says, bending over to take what's inside of the bag, giving Rhodey his back. "Besides, I thought it would make you and your new boy-toy look in synced," he trails, turning.

In his hands, Tony's holding a black leather jacket with red details on the wrists and the neck. It has pockets and it's absolutely gorgeous.

"Go on, put it. It matches with your outfit. See? We're mind-connected," Tony says, handing him the jacket.

Rhodey slides into it and turns. He does look good. He chuckles at the mirror and Tony hugs him from behind.

"I'm glad that took off that sad puppy face you had when I came in," he says on Rhodey’s shoulder.

“Thanks, man,” Rhodey says, and squeezes Tony’s arm on his stomach. They both chuckle and Rhodey turns from the mirror. “I was just thinking about him and— ,” he adds, giving a vague shrug.

Tony gives him a sympathetic look and he’s gonna say something when there’s a knock on the door. “Hey—can I come in?” Bucky says, his head peeking inside.

Tony smiles widely and Rhodey just takes a breath. “Sure,” Rhodey says.

“Stark,” Bucky greets Tony, stepping in.

“John Bender,” Tony replies, Bucky stops on his track just to frown. “I’m gonna go see if I can convince Roberta to give us something stronger than punch,” he says, before leaving the room with Rhodey shouting a ‘good luck with that!’.

Bucky watches him go and then turns to Rhodey, takes a look at Tony's present and his mouth falls half-open. "Woah, that's—  you look _good_ , Rhodes," he mutters.

Rhodey just draws the corner of his mouth up. "You know, you didn't have to come. I'm sure you have better things to do than sitting with some nerd and his family on his little birthday party," he says, again.

"A nerd I'm dating, you forget," he says.

" _Fake_ dating, you mean" Rhodey retorts. "You didn't have to come," he repeats.

Bucky just rolls his eyes. "Is it so hard for you to believe I wanted to?" He asks, looking up. Rhodey just stares at him and Bucky gives him a soft look. "You're not the _worst_ company. And I'm not only saying that 'cause it's your birthday," he says.

"Woah, I'm not the worst? I'm touched," he says, sarcastically. Bucky pushes him just a little and they both laugh.

"Jeanne wants us to play charades," Bucky says, moving his head for Rhodey to go outside with him.

Rhodey turns to see the picture of him and his dad on the night stand and smiles; his dad would want him to make his mom happy.

"Sure," he says, turning back to Bucky, walking past him, outside.

 

They've been playing charades— Bucky and Tony crazily understand each other's signs but they got nothing on Jeanne and Rhodey's thick sibling mind-link —  for an hour when there's a knock at the door.

"Can someone get that? I'm a little busy here!" Rhodey's mom yells from the kitchen.

Jeanette rolls her eyes and is about to get up when Rhodey stops her, palm open. "Don't worry, I got it. Stay here, make sure they don't cheat," he says, pointing with his fingers to Bucky and Tony.

Bucky sticks his tongue out at him and Rhodey smiles brightly, walking to the door. When he opens it, he finds Sam, a hand on his jeen pocket, the other holding a box with a blue ribbon.

"Hey," he says, low. Rhodey bites his tongue to stop himself from stuttering a reply too fast. "Happy birthday," Sam adds.

Rhodey takes a breath and smiles. Better face him now than later. "Thanks," he says, then takes the gift as Sam extends it for him to grab.

Sam's now free hand goes to the back of his head. "Listen, can we talk? This is already the longest you've stood near me in two weeks," he says, a sad bitterness in his voice.

Rhodey figures he deserves it.

"Sure," he says, closing the door behind him. He takes a few steps and sits by the little stairway of his porch.

Sam joins him a moment later. They sit in silence for a good minute before Sam sighs. "I—  I just can't believe you're dating Barnes," he says.

Rhodey holds onto his jacket tigther. "Why?" He says. "I mean, is it so unbelievable that someone could like me?" Rhodey says, crossing his arms.

"No. It's unbelievable that —  you're like the nicest, smartest guy in school and he's a complete idiot. I don't get it," Sam says, his brow furrowed.

Rhodey sighs and stands. "You know you make me sound really lame, Sam? Besides, Bucky's not that bad," he says.

Sam scoffs. "Okay," he says, sarcastically.

" _Okay_ ," Rhodey replies, bitterly. "Alright, so, if that was the reason you came over to talk to me then I— ," he says, making his way back to the door before Sam stops him.

"No, it's—  wait. Look," he pauses, looking at anywhere but Rhodey. "Did you mean what you wrote in the letter?"

Rhodey shrugs vaguely; he still didn't know what to say. "I don't know. It was a long time ago," he says.

"Well, not to me," Sam says, his arms open. "This is all new, so, like, I'm trying to understand here," he says.

"Listen, there's nothing to understand. It was a mistake, you should've never seen it— ,"

"But I did see it," Sam interrupts him.

Rhodey's mouth closes in a thin line and he lets out a breath. "I'm sorry," it's the only thing he says. "Thanks," he adds, putting the box high making his way to the door.

"That's it? You write me a love letter then start dating some jerk and now we can't even be friends?" Sam shouts, clearly upset.

Rhodey wants to make him stop hurting, but he doesn't know how.

"Is everything alright?" Bucky says, right after opening the door.

Rhodey turns to him and shakes his head but when he turns back Sam's walking away, shaking his head down.

"Stark convinced your mom of making us Piña Coladas, I thought you'd want some," he says, and Rhodey just sighs.

A few hours later, his mother's laughing too hard at Tony's fancy mom stories and Jeanne has been killing them both at Uno.

"Girl, you have no mercy," Bucky says, once she puts down the +4. He's already holding about twenty cards on his hand.

Jeanette wins again when Roberta yawns and checks her clock. "Well, sweaty, we better sing happy birthday before it's no longer your birthday," she instructs.

Tony gets a boomerang of Rhodey blowing his candles and then gives Roberta a kiss goodnight. "You pack a strong touch on those Piña Coladas, Roberta," he says, and Rhodey's mother pinches his cheek.

Tony turns to Rhodey after and gives him a tight hug. "Thanks for coming, man," Rhodey says.

Tony humms a yes and then whispers: "You let me know tomorrow if you get some." Rhodey pays him no mind. He says goodbye to Jeanne and does a little salute for Bucky before he takes off, his chauffer already outside.

"I'm gonna head to bed, too. Honey," Roberta says, turning to her son. "I know it's your birthday but can you finish tidying up the kitchen for me?" she asks, hands on his face.

Rhodey nods. "Sure, Momma," he says.

"I'll help him," Bucky says, behind him.

Roberta smiles and puts a hand on Bucky's forearm. "Thanks for joining us tonight," she says. Then gives Rhodey a hug and Jeanne runs to give her one. "School night. The two of you shouldn't stay up so late," she tells her children.

Jeanette rolls her eyes when Roberta turns but by the time her mom's made it up the second floor she yawns.

"Jeanne," Bucky says, moving his head in a motion like he's asking her to leave. They smile at each other in complicity, Rhodey just puts a straight face.

"Goodnight, boys. Happy birthday, nerd," Jeanne says, throwing a kiss in the air and running upstairs.

They watch her go and then Rhodey moves to the kitchen, to begin putting the clean dishes where they belong.

" _Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game_ ," sounds softly but clear, in the quietness of the room.

Rhodey turns to find Bucky leaving his phone connected to the radio and making his way towards him, dancing. Once he reaches Rhodey by the kitchen island, he offers Rhodey his hand.

Rhodey chuckles. "What are you doing?"

"I'm asking for a dance," he says, amused, moving his eyebrows.

" _...take my breath away..._ ," the music echoes in the room.

"Yeah, no. I'm not dancing with you," Rhodey says, putting a plate in the drawer.

He's going to reach for the next when Bucky moves to hand it to him. "Alright. Can I tell you a secret, promise not to tell anyone because that would ruin my reputation and whatever idea of a pop culture reference you and Stark got of me?" He says, handing Rhodey the last plate and then leaning on the kitchen island.

Rhodey blinks but then nods. "Sure. Fight Club," he says.

"I love slow dancing," he says, absolutely proud of it. It makes Rhodey's eyebrows go up and smile widely.

"You're joking. Seriously?" Rhodey asks.

Bucky nods. "My mom used to love it. She'd always be asking my dad to dance with her all her favorite 80's songs," he shares. "When he left, my mom stopped doing it and was always sad so I—  I wanted to make her happy, so I searched for a couple of songs and one day I had her dance with me. She was beaming, man," he says, his eyes shining. Rhodey was almost mesmerized. "We'd do it for the entire weekend, just song after song. I had never seen her so happy," he says, looking down.

Rhodey brushes his shoulder with Bucky's. "Of course she'd be. She was doing her favorite thing, with her favorite guy," he says.

Bucky smiles at him. "Yeah, I guess. So I took a liking to it," he says. "But no one our age seems to like it anymore so," he moves one shoulder and shakes his head.

"Well, since you're sharing, I'll give you something so we have assured mutual destruction," Rhodey says, turning to him. "I love Rihanna," he says.

Bucky chuckles and frowns. "I don't think that's quite the same but—  really? You're not into some nerdy Bach or whatever classical shit?" He jokes.

"Nope. Only Rihanna and Miles Davis," Rhodey says, laughing.

"Shit. That's _some_ range," Bucky laughs, too.

It's true.

He stands there watching Bucky chuckle about the odd diversity of Rhodey's taste in music and then sees him smile. "Alright, then..." Bucky trails, and walks over to his phone.

He taps something around and then Rhodey hears the very distinctive intro bit.

" _And you got me like 'oh',_ " Rihanna sings her Love On The Brain Rhodey knows far too well. Bucky grabs his hand and pulls him with his eyes closed. " _What you want from me?_ "

"I can't—," Rhodey's muttering, almost whinning, a little embarrassed. But Bucky's got a tight grip on his hand and isn't even looking. He clearly likes this. So Rhodey shakes his head and puts his hand on Bucky's back, pushing himself a little closer.

He can feel Bucky smile on his cheek and tries not to feel nervous when Bucky puts his hand on Rhodey's lower back.

The last time he danced, well, he still had a fully operational spine.

They sway around in the room and Rhodey gets just a little lost on how good Bucky moves. Slow and soft, in perfect rhythm with the music. His feet like floating just above the floor.

Rhodey rests his cheek on Bucky's shoulder and Bucky leans his cheek to rest on the side of Rhodey's head.

He allows himself to close his eyes and once he does he feels like he's doing what he loves the most: flying.

Only this time he doesn't fall for Sam to catch him.

This time he's swaying around in the clouds, with Bucky holding his hand as he flies with him. Like he's Peter Pan and Bucky's Wendy.

Bucky swings him around too fast and the prosthetics don't give in to the twist, only make Rhodey trip off his balance and rhythm. Bucky puts his two hands on his hips to help him regain the balance.

"I'm sorry," Rhodey chuckles, almost dizzy.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Bucky asks, concern on his face, his hands still on Rhodey's hip.

"I'm fine, I just—  the braces don't exactly let me twist my hips around like that. I gotta be stiff or something," he explains. "Sorry, I got robot feet," he adds.

Bucky closes one eye. "Nah, it's me. I don't measure my strength, got a robot arm," he says, wiggling the fingers of the prosthetic arm at him.

Rhodey hides his laugh behind his face but Bucky's laughing too. Rihanna has stopped singing in the background.

"So, those help you move?" Bucky asks, casually. There's no hint of the classic pity-eyes people give him when they ask.

"Yeah, I injured my spine in the accident. L-4 through S-1. I had to take months of therapy before I got the whole hang of it right but, you know, I keep finding things I can't do like I used to," he says.

Bucky nods with a pout. "I get it. It's all about re-learning," he says. "I was on a skii trip with my parents. Rebecca was just born. I was trying to — I don't know, outrun the freaking Flash, I think. I missed a rock, crashed against it and fell about thirty feet. I couldn't remember what happened for weeks; had to wear a cast for sixteen months but—," he shrugs. "There was too much damage. Nothing that could be fixed," he says.

"Yeah. Bones are weird," Rhodey says.

"And tendons," Bucky adds. They both look at each other and smile at their mutual understanding.

Like partners in crime.

Bucky leaves his gaze off Rhodey to look at his watch. "I should get going," he says. "Hey, by the way, what did Wilson want?" He asks as they're making their way to the door.

"Oh, nothing. He was just upset I seem to have stopped hanging with him to be with high school's biggest jerk," he says.

Bucky nods, making a face. "Oh me? You know, I don't know why he hates me so much to begin with," Bucky says.

"I think he just hates the idea of you," Rhodey considers.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you give this jerk-vibe, sure, but once one gets to know you?" Rhodey says, opening the door. "Don't take this the wrong way but, there's nothing jerk-y about you," he says.

Bucky puts a hand on his chest, comically. "Aw."

Rhodey just ignores him. "Thanks for coming tonight," Rhodey says but Bucky waves him off.

"Nah. You didn't want me here," he says, coming outside, to the porch.

"It wasn't that. I just thought you didn't want to spend some Thursday night with a lame guy and his loved ones on his birthday," Rhodey explains, resting on the door frame, his arms crossed.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Rhodes, but, once one gets to know you, there's nothing lame about you," he repeats, a friendly smile on his face.

Then he leans in and drops a kiss to Rhodey's stiff cheek.

"Happy birthday," he whispers and then takes off like nothing.

Rhodey manages to close the door and reach his room without shaking.

 

The days passed and fake-dating Bucky became easier and easier. Rhodey was even starting to get a hang of the whole Water Polo thing. "What do you mean I don't yell 'Marco', and that's it?" Tony would joke, as they watched Bucky's team play.

Even Jeanette was getting oddly close. "I wanna be done with trick-or-treat soon so I can hang with Bucky for movie night," Jeanne says, looking at the mirror in her Uma costume. "What did you pick?"

Bucky looks to the table and goes. "The Purge for me and The Hunt for the Red October for the classy taste of your brother," Bucky says, Rhodey kicks him in the knee.

They've just finished watching Bucky's movie when Jeanne arrives, excitedly throwing herself next to Bucky as Rhodey puts on the 90's film.

"I got some for ya'," Jeanne says, giving Bucky a bunch of treats just as Rhodey turns to see them: Bucky playfully pinching Jeanette's ear before wrapping his big arm around her.

Rhodey just hoped his sister didn't get too attached. In fact, he wished they had kept their families out of it altogether.

 

"Rhodey!" Bucky's mother Winnifred greets as soon as the door is open. She has Bucky's wavy, thick brown hair and thin pink lips. She hugs him almost as soon as he's passed the threshold. "Is it okay I call you Rhodey? Bucky said that's what they call you but I remember your name's James, too, right?" she asks, her hands on his shoulder.

"Either is fine, but I do like Rhodey," he says.

"Bucky doesn't hate James neither. He just thinks he's cooler by not having everybody call him 'such a common ass name'," she explains, making quotation marks.

Rhodey chuckles. "Why is it Bucky, though? I've never asked," he muses.

Bucky's mom frowns. "Really? Oh, well, it's 'cause of his middle name," Rhodey just raises his eyebrows, clueless. "Buchanan," she adds and Rhodey holds a laugh.

His boyfriend is _really_ white.

Fake boyfriend, anyways.

"Well, it's good to see you again," she says, a moment later. "Last time I saw you, you got up here," she says with a smile and a hand on her hip. "I was taking Bucky school and you wouldn't let go of your father's hand. He wasn't even teaching your class—,"

"Mom," Bucky says, interrupting her, coming out of his room.

His mother turns to Bucky and then back to Rhodey, who was now looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—,"

"It's okay. I remember that day. I was scared of having any other teacher that wasn't my Dad," Rhodey says, smiling softly.

They eat Tocana with mamaliga, which are Romanian dishes Bucky's grandmother used to cook for his mom and now his mom makes for them, and talk about their days and Bucky's mom asks Rhodey about his mom and Jeanette, Bucky's little sister Rebecca goes to school with her, but she's far more quiet than Jeanne's ever been.

"So, Rebecca's a pretty shy kid, huh?" Rhodey asks Bucky later, when they're putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

"Yeah," Bucky says, putting a glass inside the dishwasher.

"I think Jeanne could help with that," he says as Bucky turns back to him.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. I think they could be good friends," Rhodey adds.

"Probably," Bucky agrees.

Rhodey walks around the kitchen to grab a dirty plate and hand it to Bucky.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about what my mom said earlier," Bucky says, grabbing the plate from him and putting it inside the washer.

"It's okay," Rhodey says, pulling himself up to sit on the counter. "Honestly, it's kinda nice talking about him like it's normal. Like it's not some tragedy," he says, his hands clasped together.

Bucky gives him half a smile, understanding.

"Is it weird not having your dad around?" Rhodey asks.

Bucky presses his lips in a thin line and takes a deep breath. "Not as weird as it used to be," he answers, putting a hand on the counter Rhodey's sitting on. "Sometimes I walk around the house and see he's not in any of the photos anymore— and I really miss him," he shares, not looking at Rhodey. "But then I think about everything he's doing with his new family that he used to do with us and I get so mad I'm glad he's gone," he adds, his face changing to his facade of non-chalance.

"You don't mean that," Rhodey tells him. "You can be mad at someone and still miss them."

Bucky gives him a look and nods. "I bet you really miss your dad, huh?"

Rhodey looks to the front and sighs. "Yeah. Every day," he replies, in a tiny pout. "But you know, it's been so long now that— okay, it's like this: I'll be doing my homework or I'll be washing the dishes or something and I'm thinking about my family and I forget there was a time when it wasn't just my mom and Jeanne. And it only happens for like a quarter of a second but—  I feel really, really guilty about it," he shares, still not looking at Bucky, until he notices: "I had never told anybody that," Rhodey says, turning to look at Bucky.

Bucky shrugs. "I get it," he complies. "I mean— it makes sense to me," he says. Then he turns to him, his face a little down. "I don't actually hate my dad, I didn't mean it like that," he says, closing his eyes a little. "At least he's not, you know..." Bucky trails, but his throat closes before he can finish.

"Dead," Rhodey deadpans.

"Sorry," Bucky mutters, side-eyeing him.

But then Rhodey breaks into a smile. "It's okay," he assures. "It's actually really nice having someone to talk about this stuff," he adds, tilting his head to smile at Bucky. "You're a good listener," he tells him.

Bucky lowers his chin and smiles faintly. "Really?" He whispers. Rhodey humms a yes and Bucky smiles just a little bit wider. "Why thank you," he says, joking in a deep voice that makes Rhodey chuckle lightly. "You are, too," he adds, later, his tone honest and bare.

"Thank you," Rhodey whispered.

"You're welcome," Bucky whispered back.

Being with him was so easy that sometimes Rhodey caught himself pretending it wasn't fake.

 

He's getting to his biology class when he notices the only free spot is the one next to Sam. He swallows and goes.

"Can I sit?" He asks with a friendly smile.

Sam nods slowly and smiles back.

The teacher's heading into his mithosys subject when Sam passes him a note. 'I'm sorry I was a dick,' it reads.

Rhodey smiles to it and writes on it: 'I'm sorry I was a coward and I ditched you'.

He passes it back and Sam chuckles when he reads it. Then he smushes it in his fist and shows it up for Rhodey to bump it.

They were cool now.

Later, he's joining Tony under the bleachers after a very cryptic text.

"Why do we have to eat these subs under the bleachers, again?" Rhodey asks, after swallowing a piece of his sub.

"Dude, we can't have these contraband Subway cups out in the open!" Tony says. "Don't want the powers-that-be catching on to my lunchtime truancy vibes," he adds. "P.S. That sub is tight, right?"

"— I keep trying to talk to you and you keep making this movie up like I'm the bad guy," someone says above them.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to listen to your stories about whatshisname?" Rhodey catches Bucky's voice, clearly upset.

"It's Clint and I think we both deserve to be friends with each other," Bucky scoffs. "— after everything we've been through."

"We shouldn't listen to this. It seems private," Rhodey whispers to Tony.

"Are you _insane_? That's your boyfriend!" Tony whispers back.

"— besides you're with Rhodey now, so why does it matter?"

"And they're talking about you," Tony adds.

"It matters because we still like each other and you want us to be friends, Nat and that— you can't keep doing this to me," Bucky says. "I got a nice thing going on and you write and it's—  I just can't."

"You're right. We're moving in circles," Natasha sighs and then takes off.

Rhodey wants to sink deep into the grass until he is one with the Earth.

Tony just closes his mouth, not even sure what to say.

But Rhodey has an idea of who he can talk to.

"— I know you probably don't wanna hear about Bucky stuff but...I guess I need to talk to someone I thought might understand," Rhodey tells Sam just outside the locker room. "I just feel like the more used to him I get, the more it's gonna hurt when he inevitably gets back with Natasha. And I'm so mad at myself because I should've seen this coming," he says.

Sam has his arms crossed and one leg in front of the other. "I don't know what to tell you. It sucks," he says, giving a tiny shrug. "I'm sorry."

The bell rings and just a few seconds later Bucky's calling him from the end of the hallway. "Rhodey!" he yells, his arms open in a questioning stance.

"Want me to wait?" Sam asks.

"You'd better not," Rhodey muses, grabbing his bag from the floor and going to Bucky.

"I'll see ya'," Sam shouts as Rhodey leaves, just following Bucky out to the parking lot.

"What do you think people are gonna say when they see my boyfriend cozying up next to Wilson?" Bucky whispers as they walk through the hall.

"What do you think people are gonna say when they hear you're practically _begging_ Natasha to get back with you on the bleachers?" Rhodey throws back.

Bucky scoffs a sarcastic laugh. "Oh, so, what? You're spying on me now?"

"Not intentionally," Rhodey says, turning to the aisle for the back door.

"Ok, so, I was talking to Nat, so what? You don't even post about us on your Instagram," Bucky says.

"Because— the photos I put there I take great care of. I can't just post random selfies. I —  I take photography seriously," Rhodey says, stuttering a little.

"Oh, please, that's such a lame excuse," Bucky waves him off. "Take a good picture of me then," he says, raising his eyebrows.

Rhodey holds his gaze but then rolls his eyes. "It's not that simple," he mutters but all Bucky does is shake his head silently. "Look, Bucky, I don't think neither of us thought this was going to go on for this long, okay?" He begins saying and Bucky changes his stance in a second. "Look, Sam and I are cool, you can still make it work with Natasha. I think we need to call it," he says but Bucky has his hands open and is looking everywhere around them.

He lets out a bitter laugh. "I cannot believe you're trying to break up with me right before the skii trip. That's in the contract," Bucky says, his tone low.

"Only if we're still together," Rhodey says, his arms crossed.

"We _are still_ together," Bucky replies, almost a little exasperated. "You're just trying to pull out because you're scared!"

At that, Rhodey frowns. "What do I have to be scared about?"

Bucky's arms fall to his sides, making a sound and he gives a shrug. "You tell me, Rhodes."

But Rhodey couldn't just tell his fake boyfriend he didn't want to go skiing with him because Rhodey was starting to have real feelings, so he pivots it. "I'll go if Tony goes," Rhodey says.

 

He's playing Little Big Planet in the living room when he hears the doorbell and his mother opening the door for Tony, who kisses her before crashing on the couch with Rhodey, head on his lap.

"So, what's up?" He says, looking at his phone. "Why is your boyfriend harassing me about going to this skii trip? You _know_ I don't do school functions," Tony says, pointing at him with his finger.

"Yes. And that is why I told him I would only go if you would, knowing that you wouldn't," Rhodey says, pausing the game to turn to Tony.

Tony shakes his head. "What? You _have_ to go," he says. "First of all, that trip is infamous for giving us hormonal little demons literally the weekend of our lives. And if you don't go, who knows, Barnes could get back with scary Mother Russia," Tony says, in a weird accent at last.

Rhodey just rolls his eyes. "So be it," he says.

"Dude, no. If you don't work it out with Barnes then I go back to having zero-chances with that Dorito-shaped Adonis he has for a best friend," he says. "Nope. You're coming on that trip. I'll make sure of it," he adds.

Rhodey just sighs. "You know, I don't appreciate you using me to get laid," he says.

Tony sits up right and shakes his head. "It's not just that," he's quick to say. "Since you've been with Bucky— well, I don't know, platypus, I've never seen you so happy," Tony says, his voice soft.

"Sweetie, he's right," Roberta says, from the hall, a glass of wine in her hand. "I'm sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping but I haven't seen you have so much fun— you're going to parties and making new friends," Rhodey's mom trails, smiling widely. "You've made your Momma really happy," she adds, before going upstairs.

"That was really sweet," Tony says after Roberta goes and he yanks the remote from Rhodey's hands.

  -o-

His mother drops him off at the school on the Saturday morning. "Thanks. I'll see you in a couple of days," he says, grabbing his backpack.

"Wait, honey, we need to talk about your sexual health." Oh, no.

Rhodey shakes his head repeatedly. "No, no. Please, no," he pleads.

"I know you're smart enough not to do things just because another boy might pressure you into doing them," she goes, her hand going to the back.

Rhodey is just nodding, slowly dying inside. "Ok, let's just make this end," he says.

"— and I know you might be embarrassed of asking your mother about stuff but since your father isn't around, I decided to take the initiative," she says, then hands Rhodey a brown bag. "I just want you to be safe," she says.

Rhodey takes a look inside to find different sized condoms and two tubes of lube. "Mom! What the hell?" He shouts.

Roberta is just defensively opening her hands. "I just did a little quick search on Google on what you may need. I want you to be protected. You'd be shocked to know what I see people come in with at the hospital—,"

"Ok, I'm getting out of the car now," Rhodey goes, pulling the handle to open the door.

"Don't forget to have fun!" his mother says as he leaves the car.

"Yeah, I got a lot of lube and rubbers. For that. Specifically," he says, sarcastically, before closing the door.

Sometimes having an understanding, open-minded mother wasn't such a great thing.

Especially not when Rhodey was avoiding having sex with his non-real boyfriend.

He enters the bus with a sigh and hears a 'hey!'. In the third row, with a free seat, Bucky gives him a little salute for Rhodey to notice him.

Rhodey struts towards Tony, six rows further. "Hey, hey, hey. Where you going?" Bucky says, standing on his seat as Rhodey makes his way to Tony.

"I'm—  I'm gonna go sit with Tony," Rhodey says.

"Tony? C'mon, look at him, he's sleeping," Bucky says, frowning. Rhodey turns to find Tony, a scarf all the way around his face, fastly asleep. "I saw his Snapchat. He was up all night at this EDM concert thing," Bucky adds.

"Well, that's more reason go sit with him. Don't want him to go swallowing his tongue or anything," Rhodey explains, going to the free seat next to his friend.

It's a couple of minutes later when Natasha comes in, checks there are no other seats and sits next to Bucky with a friendly smile.

"This was a mistake," Rhodey says, shifting around.

Tony raises one eyebrow. "You're not the Adonnis dorito," he says, in a sleepy voice. But then he leans into Rhodey's shoulder, resting his face on it. "I can't believe I let you and Barnes convince me to go on a trip that requires getting up before 7:00," Tony mutters, before he falls asleep on Rhodey's shoulder for the rest of the trip.

 

They're entering the resort they're gonna stay at for the weekend, Tony opening his mouth wide in a yawn.

"Who goes to an EDM concert on a school night?" Rhodey asks.

Tony twists his neck around a bit and goes: "Uhh, lots of people do. And it wasn't necessarily like an EDM concert, it was more like a rock—,"

"Okay," Rhodey cuts as they make their way to the living room.

"So they said, 'Thor, make sure everyone sleeps in their assigned room'. And I said, 'Overruled. Sleep where you want, sluts'," Thor says as he throws the room keycards to the air for people to grab.

"They're the chaperones?" Rhodey mutters, worried.

"Oh, I love this trip already. Thanks for making me come," Tony says with a smile, going to grab a key card from the floor.

"Let's head to Black Diamond," Sharon yells to Bucky's group from the floor above. "Last down the slope owes the rest a hot toddy," she adds, high fiving Natasha next to her as they all go out.

Bucky glances back at him before as the rest of his friends scatter outside or to their rooms.

"Go with your man," Tony says.

"Are you kidding? I can't go down the Black Diamond. I don't even know how to put on the boots," Rhodey says.

Tony chuckles. "Honeybear, if you're not going to ski, what are you planning on doing all weekend? Please, say sex," Tony says.

Rhodey just zips his backpack open and shows Tony the three romance novels he brought. "I came prepared," he says.

Tony puts both hands on his face, almost in horror. "Oh, no. This is a major backslide for you," he says. "Carol," he calls, as he sees her approaching them.

"Hey, dude," she greets, throwing an arm around him. They were buddies since kindergarten.

"Can you help me convince Jimmy boy here to come ski with us?" Tony says.

Carol just chuckles. "Yeah, right. You think I'm going skiing? It's cold outside, I don't do cold," she says.

"What?" Tony says, his smile disappearing.

"I have Korean face masks," Rhodey offers and Carol moves from standing next to Tony to stand next to Rhodey.

"Are you two serious? I'm gonna have to go skiing alone?" He complains.

Suddenly, someone appears next to them, coming out of the lobby. "You can— come with me, if you want. We got space," it's Steve offering.

Tony moves to the side and smiles. "Yeah, no thanks," he says.

" _Tony_ ," Rhodey says, rolling his eyes. His friend was really good at self-sabotage, but this 'playing it cool and cold' was enough. "Actually, Steve, he'd very much like to go with you. Please, take him," Rhodey says, pushing Tony by his shoulders towards Steve.

Tony turns to say something but Rhodey just gives him a stern look so he gives in. "Fine. Let's go, blond Hercules," he tells Steve, but he's smiling.

 

By night, he's relaxing with his Korean mask and Carol, who's bumped because her girlfriend Jessica had a family thing and couldn't come to the trip.

"So you guys have been faking it this entire time?" Carol asks after Rhodey's done telling her the whole story. He knew he probably shouldn't have, first rule of Fight Club and all, but he needed to open up to someone.

And Tony was busy having hot toddy with Bucky's very muscle-y friend.

"Yes," Rhodey replies. "And you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay? It's just...I'm so confused, I had to let it out," Rhodey adds, sighing.

Carol runs a towel through her face. "Look, I do not care about the genesis of it all, I just know that boy likes you," she says, shrugging. "I can tell by the way he looks at you," she adds.

"Okay, how does he look at me?" Rhodey asks, just to amuse Carol.

"Like you're a sexy little Rubik's Cube," she says, winking. "He can't really figure you out, but he's having fun trying."

Rhodey just laughs at the analogy.

But then his smile drops a little. "It doesn't matter, he's still so obsessed with Natasha," Rhodey says. "And I'm just another stupid, poor soul that fell for Barnes," he adds, tired. "It's embarrassing!"

"Look, every guy gets a bit obsessed with their first, you know—  _bow chicka wow wow_ ," Carol says, moving on the mattress.

Rhodey lets that sink in; he had never considered that.

"Let's look at the facts, okay?" Carol continues. "The whole fake relationship was his idea, you came up with the no-kissing rule and you're the one who keeps trying to break up with him. And you're also the one who's currently carb-loading with some lesbian chick while he's probably waiting for you on the hot tub," she says. "So, I'd say, if anyone stupidly fell for someone who doesn't like them back, it's not you, it's Barnes," she adds.

Rhodey looks at the door and then at her. "You think he's waiting for me at the hot tub?" He wonders.

Carol scoffs. "Hell, yeah," she says.

Rhodey looks at the curtained window and bites his lower lip. There's a bubbling nervous feeling in his gut but his heart is chasing with expectation, with wonder. He pulls the covers off and feels even more confident when he turns to see Carol smiling faintly, before closing her eyes and turning the lamp of her night stand off.

 

When he gets to the hot tub, just outside of the back living room, out in the open but steaming hot, he sees Bucky, sitting quietly, watching his hands float in the warm water.

"All by yourself out here?" Rhodey asks, a casual smile on his face. Bucky turns around and sees him, does a half nod and turns back without much response. "So, what? You're ignoring me now?" he asks.

"Oh, _I'm_ the one ignoring you? That's funny," he says, not looking at Rhodey.

Bucky clearly looks upset so Rhodey figures he needs to keep trying. He walks over to the edge of the tub and sits, with his legs spread. "I'm sorry I'm not a good skier. You didn't even bother to teach me," Rhodey says, trying for a humorous, flirty tone.

"Oh, I'm supposed to be sweet to you after you just don't sit with me on the bus ride here?" Bucky asks, opening his arms.

Rhodey looks at the water. "Shouldn't you be thanking me that you got to sit next to who you actually wanted?" He asks.

Bucky shakes his head looking to the other side, frowning, like in despair. "You know, for such a smart guy, you can be really dense sometimes," Bucky says, sighing.

Rhodey raises his eyebrows. "What?"

"Yeah— I wanted to sit next to you, Rhodey," he declares, his arms open, resting by the edge of the tub. "I even packed the snacks. I asked Jeanne where to get those homemade power bars you like so much," he says.

"The lady who sells me that has her store all the way across town," Rhodey muses.

Bucky just nods twice. "I know. So, if I went all the way across town to get you something that you like then that means...," he trails.

"You must really like protein snacks?" Rhodey replies.

Bucky wrinkles his nose, moves his hand inside the tub as if waving him off. "You are impossible," he deadpans.

But it makes Rhodey feel warm inside, so he moves around and takes off his slippers, dipping his feet in the water. "I'm sorry I didn't sit next to you," he says.

Bucky drives his eyes back to him and shrugs. "It's okay," he mutters.

Rhodey holds his gaze, drowning in the blue of Bucky's eyes that perfectly atone with the blue lighting of the tub; he remebered them being one of Bucky's best features.

Bucky feels Rhodey's eyes on him linger for too long and can't keep a straight face, instead he drives them around, his neck turning pink and pinker every passing moment.

Rhodey's stomach does a flip just to think he caused that. So he takes off his jacket and finishes going in.

"Uh...," Bucky says, his palm open towards him.

"It's okay, they're water proof," Rhodey says, meaning his prosthetic.

"No. I meant, you're wearing pajamas," Bucky says, as Rhodey finishes getting inside.

"I didn't bring a bathing suit," he says, taking more and more steps towards Bucky until there's no room for personal space between them.

What does he do now?

" _Hi,_ " it's all Rhodey can come up with, few inches away from Bucky's face.

It's simple. Just like he is.

And it makes Bucky smile.

"There is no one like you, Rhodes," he whispers, his hand rolling down Rhodey's thigh as Bucky lifts him to sit on his lap, pulling their bodies closer, feeling the braces bend as Rhodey wraps his legs around him under the water, where Bucky sits.

Rhodey gives him one last look and it's like his memory has been cleaned out fresh.

There is no kiss playing spin the bottle when they were twelve.

There is no kiss at the track to avoid talking to Sam.

There is no kiss at the pool room to seal their crazy, play-pretend plan.

It's just this, here and now. Bucky breathing heavily on his lips, half-parted, with their hearts beating fast in sync.

Bucky's not moving and that's when Rhodey remembers. 'This is non-negociable,' he had said when they signed their little contract.

Well, screw it. It's not even the first time in this night Rhodey's breaking a rule of their deal. 

So he puts his hands on Bucky's neck and opens his mouth at Bucky's slightly parted lips. He rolls the tip of his tongue across Bucky's pink lips and feels him hold on his breath.

Rhodey can't help but smile.

"What?" Bucky mutters, his voice hoarse.

"Nothing," Rhodey says, softly, before he finally pulls Bucky in for a kiss.

Suddenly, the soft lips Rhodey remembered had turned softer. Bucky was taking his time, just tasting the waters, until it was all controlled excitement and rush; mostly from Rhodey, who had no idea what to do.

Bucky caught on that fast, and smiled through their kiss, giving them room to take a breather. But then his left hand pressed on Rhodey's right thigh, tight, right before taking Rhodey off guard and open-mouthedly kissed him.

All sweet and soft tongue rolling around Rhodey's mouth with one hand on his thigh and the other hand on his lower back, right above his accident scar.

Breathless to pause, Bucky bit Rhodey's lower lip at last and it sent shivers all the way across Rhodey's body right to south.

So, he knew he had to back pedal as soon as right now.

"Wait, wait, wait," he breathed, his hands to Bucky's exposed collar bone.

Bucky ran a finger through his face and then a thumb through his lip. "We don't need to go fast," it's all he said.

Rhodey agreed.

And after some twenty minutes of more kissing and testing and learning for Rhodey, they decided to go inside, walking hand in hand.

Rhodey figured he was fully ready to ask Tony to go sleep with Carol and give him the room but Bucky stopped him in the hall to rooms, pulling him by his arm and to his chest.

Bucky lowered his chin and Rhodey stood on his tip-toes to give him a kiss. "Good night, Rhodey," Bucky said into his lips.

Guessed Rhodey wasn't the only one who wasn't ready for that next step.

"Goodnight," Rhodey replied, a bright, goofy smile on his face.

 

He slept like a baby that night; and when the sun rose the next morning, he rejoiced in the brightness.

"You're glowing rainbows, Rhodey," Carol comments, coming out of the bathroom with a towel around her neck.

Rhodey only smiled back at her, before getting ready to leave.

 

When he enters the bus, to ride back home, he's greeted with a whistles and claps.

He frowns but then finds Bucky far in the back, his hair loose and he’s swearing a soft grey sweater. “Hey,” Rhodey greets, sitting.

Bucky adjusts on his seat and whispers back: “Hey.”

“Umm, you didn’t tell anybody about last night, did you?” Rhodey asks, after a beat.

Bucky frowns before he gets it. “No – no, that’s just a thing they do with couples on the ski trip. It’s normal,” he explains and Rhodey nods. “Hey, I’m tired. Can I use you as a pillow?” he asks, turning his eyes softer.

Rhodey smiles and nods again, his belly feels nothing but warm.

The rest of the trip goes uneventful, with Rhodey letting his head fall on the top of Bucky’s head, smiling when he notices Tony’s sitting with Steve just a few rows ahead.

 

Rhodey’s trying to take his suitcase out of the bus when he accidentally hits another one as he pulled his too hard.

“Shit, Rhodes, I know you’re helpless but I didn’t know you were fucking blind, too,” Zeke Stane says behind him, looking at the case.

“Are you gonna pick up? Can you even?” Aldrich Killian asks, his head moving to one side.

Rhodey rolls his eyes and sighs. A bunch of immature, assholes. He’s about to bend when Justin Hammer beats him to it, sucking on a lollipop.

“Take it easy on him, guys. Rhodes here’s such a good guy, right?” he says, putting a hand on Rhodey’s shoulder. “I mean, not everyone would’ve been okay with their boyfriend sleeping in their ex room, but you are, right, Jimmy? Such a standup dude,” he says, patting him once more.

They laugh at him maliciously but off they go. And as Rhodey moves away from the back trunk of the bus he catches Natasha squeezing Bucky’s hand goodbye.

It makes Rhodey’s stomach sink.

Bucky turns and spots him and walks over to him. “Hey, ready to go?”

“Did you go to Natasha’s room last night?” Rhodey asks, no hesitation.

Bucky’s change chances. “What?” he mutters frowning.

“Did you or did you not sleep in Natasha’s room last night?” he tries again.

Bucky opens his mouth to say something but then closes it. “Yeah—I did, but—,”

“Am I just a joke to you?” Rhodey interrupts him.

“No, no. Of course not. You just don’t understand the situation,” Bucky’s quick to say.

But Rhodey opens his hand to stop him. “No. I think I understand completely. This,” he points to the both of them. “Is over. In every possible way,” Rhodey adds, making to go.

Bucky grabs his arm not too tight but enough to make him stop. “Please, can we just talk? Let me drive you home, I’ll explain—,”

“I’d rather _walk_ all the way over to my house than get in a car with you right now,” Rhodey cuts him off and starts walking through the parking lot.

Carol honks at him to give him a ride to his house and she’s about to ask when Rhodey just shakes his head; he doesn’t wanna talk.

He thanks her when she drops him off and goes into his house to find it all decorated in Christmas themes. Jeanette comes outside of the living room with a smile and gives him a quick hug.

The house looks bright and alive and pretty but all Rhodey wants to do is curl up in a ball and sleep for the rest of the week.

“You okay, Jimmy?” Jeanne asks.

“I’m just tired. I’ll see you at diner, all right?” he tells her, before going upstairs and crashing, face-first on his bed.

 

He’s finishing eating his diner when the doorbell rings. Jeanette is doing the dishes with their mom so Rhodey sighs and gets up.

“We gotta talk,” Bucky says as soon as Rhodey opens the door.

Rhodey looks back on the kitchen and zips his jacket up, before going outside to the cold open. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and waits for Bucky to speak.

“Just so you know, nothing happened between me and Natasha last night,” Bucky says, looking quite upset.

Rhodey looks to one side before replying: “No, what happened was that you went to her room in the first place.”

Bucky narrows his eyes. “Look, Nat and I dated for a long time, okay? Those feelings aren’t just gonna go away, we have history,” he says, his hands deep in his pockets.

“I’m tired of being second best or—  fake best. I don’t know,” Rhodey says.

“No, no, you do not get it,” Bucky interrupts him. “Okay, last night was—,”

“Last night was a mistake,” Rhodey’s quick to say. Bucky sighs, looking down. “I mean, physical stuff might not be a big deal to you, but to me, it is,” he adds.

“ _Who_ says that it’s not a big deal to me?” Bucky asks, offended.

“Says every single person in the bus!” Rhodey nearly yells. “Clapping and praising you like a God, and you’re just eating it up,” he goes.

Bucky shakes his head. “Okay, look, I—,”

“Barnes, just leave,” Rhodey asks, tired.

“Can we just go inside and talk about this?—,”

“He asked you to leave, buddy,” Sam says, coming from behind Rhodey, hands inside his hoodie’s front pockets.

“Sam, I’m fine, this isn’t necessary—,” Rhodey tries.

“No, it’s okay,” Sam cuts in. Bucky glances at him and then back at Rhodey, who was now crossing his arms.

“No, no. Are you serious right now?” Bucyk asks, a pitch too high. Rhodey doesn’t know what to tell him so he just shrugs. “This isn’t about me and Nat at all, no, this is about you and Wilson!” he goes.

Rhodey and Sam just frown in reply.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about—,” Rhodey scoffs.

“Are you kidding me? _This_ is the reason you broke up with me?”  Bucky asks, ignoring Rhodey’s words, as he points at Sam with his open hand. “You’re still in love with him?”

“Or maybe, it’s because he’s coming to the life-altering revelation that he’s too good for you,” Sam replies, opening his arms widely.

Bucky takes a stride towards him, his chin up. “You want me to finally give you a good reason to hate me, Wilson? Is that what you want?” he says, almost menacing.

Rhodey steps between them with his hands held high, but they don’t touch Bucky just yet. “Ok, let’s back it up, there,” Rhodey says, not meeting Bucky’s eyes. “Seriously, please, just go,” he repeats, this time putting a hand on Bucky’s chest, to make him look at him.

Bucky gives him a look and then back at Sam before he drops his defensive stance. “God, you were never second best,” he says in a sigh, before taking off.

Rhodey lets his head drop and Sam huffs a breath behind him. Rhodey turns to him with a frown on his face. “Why’d you have to do that?” he asks.

Sam shrugs, looking sorry. “I thought you needed help getting rid of him,” he says.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t. What are you doing here?” Rhodey wonders, his shoulders down.

“I thought you’d be up for some CoD,” Sam says in a friendly voice.

Rhodey looks back to the road where Bucky just disappeared into and shakes his head. “I really wanna be alone right now, Sam,” he says.

Sam opens his mouth to say something but saves it. “Alright. I’m a text away if you need me, okay?” he offers and Rhodey nods before going inside the house to find Jeanne had been listening to the whole thing.

“ _Seriously_?” he tells his little sister.

“I didn’t mean to, I just heard Bucky’s truck and I thought it could be him. What happened?” she explains, her voice concerned.

Rhodey gives her a stern look but then sighs. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” he says. Then proceeds to drag his feet all the way to his room.

He sits on his desk and sees the notebook where he wrote the stupid, stupid contract. He rips the page from the notebook and then rips the sheet in tiny pieces before dumping them in the trashcan.

‘ _Nothing more to worry about,_ ’ Rhodey thinks before he sits back on his chair and takes a deep breath.

He sits with his head resting on the back of the chair, staring at the ceiling for a long bit before he starts hearing a noise in the dead quietness of his room. He stands up in a flash and starts looking where the noise comes from.

It’s his window, being opened.

Rhodey looks around quickly and makes a grab for the nearest object; it’s a stapler. It’ll have to do. He raises it just waiting for the intruder, who’s taking damn time and Rhodey’s hands are shaking.

“Now, don’t just stand there, help me get in,” Tony says just as soon as the window is open enough, one hand on the window’s frame.

Rhodey lets out a breath. “Fuck, man, you scared the shit outta me!” he yells, walking over to him to give him a hand. “Why didn’t you come through the door?”

“I didn’t want to give you the chance to ignore me,” Tony says, letting a tired breath out as he finishes getting in. “Sam mentioned you were upset and— something happened with Barnes? Do I need to kill him? You say the word, I’ll do it,” he says, his eyebrows raised. 

“Wouldn’t killing Bucky screw up all the chances you got with his best friend?” Rhodey says, amusing him.

“Honeybear, no dick is more important than you,” Tony says in a sweet voice, his hand on Rhodey’s shoulder.

It’s a weird phrase but it’s also incredibly Tony’s.

“I’m touched,” Rhodey gives him. “But please don’t commit first degree murder,” he adds.

“I can make it look like it was self-defense—,”

“ _Tony_.”

Tony sips his mouth with an honest smile and sits on the bed, then he pats on it for Rhodey to join him. “ _So_ , what happened?” Tony asks as soon as Rhodey sits next to him, his shoulders down.

“I’m an idiot,” Rhodey says. “I thought he was into me but he’s got his head so far up Natasha’s ass he can’t see the daylight,” he adds.

Tony nods, listening. “And you came to this conclusion because…?”

“He slept with her last night, in the trip,” Rhodey says.

“He _what_?”  Tony’s eyebrows go up.

Rhodey shakes his head. “Well, I don’t know if they slept, _slept_ together but—he went to her room, Justin Hammer said he saw Bucky leaving her room earlier this morning,” Rhodey says.

“And you’d trust Hammer with anything?” Tony asks, frowning.

“Bucky admitted he went to her room, Tones,” Rhodey says, quietly. “He’s still into her, I can see it,” he adds, before looking down to his hands.

Tony puts his arm around Rhodey’s shoulder and takes a breath. “Well, even if that’s the case, then still, the only idiot here it’s him, not you,” he says, rubbing Rhodey’s shoulder with his thumb.

Rhodey turns to look at him and smiles. “Thanks, man,” he says, before resting his face on Tony’s shoulder.

They sit like that for a short while when they both get a notification on their phones, one before the other. Tony takes his phone out of his pocket as Rhodey stands to grab his from the nightstand.

Before Rhodey can check his phone, Tony’s muttering: “Oh, shit.” Rhodey frowns as Tony gives him a completely stunned look, showing him his phone.

On the screen, from an above angle, there’s him and Bucky kissing passionately in the hot-tub, full-on make out session.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” Rhodey screams, grabbing Tony’s phone and closing it in his hand tightly.

The next three hours he spends pacing, with Jeanne watching him spiral to a breakdown as Tony tries to fix the whole thing by having all the social medias the video has been uploaded into take it down under “underage-pornography” category.

“Done,” Tony says, after he’s done taking it out of Instagram.

“How long was it up?” Rhodey asks.

Tony moves his head to one side. “Eh, not long,” he says, lying.

“Tony,” Rhodey tries again.

“Long enough for the whole school to see,” Tony says, his voice low.

Rhodey crashes into the mattress with a frustrated groan. “I hate this. All this shit started because of those stupid letters. Now my life’s over, I’m gonna have to move schools,” he says, a hand on his face, dramatically.

“It’s not that bad. You can see more of Bucky than of you. Really, if it wasn’t for the tag, one couldn’t even tell it was you,” Tony tries, moving his left shoulder.

“Tony, I’m the _only_ guy with leg prosthetics in the whole damn class,” he says, raising his head just a little to look at Tony sitting by the edge of the bed. “I should’ve never written those letters, this whole thing has _ruined_ me,” Rhodey adds, in a sad voice.

Jeanne stands up and whines, her face down. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry!” she shouts. Tony and Rhodey turn to her with question marks on their eyes. “It was me who sent the letters,” she declares. Tony’s mouth falls open slightly and Rhodey sits upright. “I was bored and I thought getting them out would’ve improved your chances of getting a boyfriend,” she adds.

“I’m going to kill you,” Rhodey mutters, before getting up to run after Jeanne, who went into the closet. Tony was quick on his steps to stand between his friend and Jeanne inside the closet.

“Ok, ok, relax,” Tony says, his hands on Rhodey’s chest.

“Come out, Jeanette!” Rhodey shouts, ignoring him.

“Please don’t kill your sister. I’ll be forced to help you hide the body and I like Jeanne,” Tony pleads.

“ _Thanks_ ,” Jeanne’s muffled voice comes from the closet.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Rhodey yells again, taking a careful distance.

Jeanette peeks her head out of the closet as she goes: “Didn’t you hear me? I wanted you to have a boyfriend, Jimmy!” she says.

“That wasn’t your business to mind!”

“I _know_!”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND!” Jeanne yells back again. Tony’s really close to straight up putting his hands on his ears.

Rhodey grunts angrily in reply and goes back to his bed. “Whatever. I’ve had enough of today,” he says, crossing his arms.

“You’re done trying to kill me?” Jeanne asks, softly this time, coming out of the closet but still holding tightly to Tony’s forearm.

“You’re not worth going to jail for,” Rhodey says, his eyes narrowed. “Also, you’re never, _ever_ , to be near my stuff, ever again, you understand me?” he goes, pointing an accusing finger at her. “And you’re gonna bake me your special blondies for the rest of your life,” he says.

Jeanne nods three times before smiling and running outside the room.

“You can tell her heart was in the right place,” Tony tries, as soon as Jeanne is out. Rhodey just raises his eyebrows at him, a warning. “Ok, you know what? I’m gonna go, too. See you tomorrow,” Tony says, just a little scared.

Rhodey groans just once more before he lays on his bed, takes his prosthetics off and tries to catch some damn sleep.

The rest of the free holiday weeks didn't feel very merry, with all of that of him being involved in an underage sex tape without actually having had had sex in the first place, but he managed.

Jeanette got him the new Spider-Man PS4 game and he spent New Years Eve with Tony watching Spidey with a pride flag and getting drunk on eggnog.

Then he went to the court with Sam, who didn't ask any questions about the last time Rhodey saw him but instead kept talking about some Riley dude he met on his Christmas Eve trip with his folks.

Maybe Sam wasn't as straight as Rhodey thought, after all.

But it didn't really matter, when he went to bed he still thought about what Bucky must've been up to.

He's finished cleaning his room when his mom knocks on the door frame, her purse hanging on her shoulder. "Hey," she says. "Jeanne is at a friend's, I was thinking we could go for a drive," Roberta offers.

Rhodey nods and puts on his jacket before he takes off with his mom.

They go to Bob’s café and Rhodey's mom puts a coin in the jukebox. "There it is, right there," she says as 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World' starts playing. "You know, me and your father used to come here all the time when we were dating," she shares.

"Really? I didn't know that," Rhodey says with a smile. There isn't much stuff he knows or remembers about his dad.

"Yes. He'd have this song played then as soon as it was over he'd play it again," Roberta says, her eyes shinning with the happy memory. "Sometimes, when he was really in the mood, he'd even get up and start dancing, just right here, right by everyone eating. I'd be so embarrassed those times, but I was also very amused," she says, even cackling a little laugh. "I think back and, boy, I should've danced with him," she says, then she goes for her purse and takes a photo out. "Look at him," she adds.

In the picture, Terrence Rhodes is laughing, his right hand up like he's snapping his fingers, dancing in the aisle. Rhodey smiles and reflects: "This place hasn't changed at all."

Roberta looks down at the table, a soft, fragile smile on her face. "There's so much about him that I should've told you and Jeanne, but I haven't because, just talking about him makes me sad," she says.

Rhodey grabs her hands. "It's okay," he assures his mother.

"No, it's not. I've expected you to be strong ever since and it's not fair, honey. You're sixteen, you don't have to be this tough adult man all filled with responsibilities and duties," Roberta says, rubbing her fingers on Rhodey's hand. "That's why I was so happy when I saw you and Bucky—,"

"I don't wanna talk about Bucky," Rhodey cuts in with a smile.

"No Bucky," his mother corrects, giving him a smile. “Look, I don’t know what happened with you two, but I know how opened up when he was around. I mean, not with me and your sister, ‘cause you’ve always been like that with us, but to the world,” Roberta says. “Seeing you come alive like, so outgoing and joyful, you reminded me of Terrence. Don’t hide that part of yourself, son,” she adds.

Rhodey takes a deep breath, his eyelashes trembling. “Momma, I really miss Dad,” he mutters, his voice almost breaking.

Roberta tightens the grip on her son’s hands. “I know you do,” she says, then stretches her hand to roll down his cheek. There’s nothing more to do, no way to change reality.

Rhodey melts to his mother’s touch and looks down, then at the jukebox. “Can I borrow a quarter?” he asks, a smile on his face.

Roberta nods and takes a coin out of her purse, giving it to Rhodey.

“So, you said he’d always play the song twice?” Rhodey asks, putting the coin in the jukebox.

“At _least_. Usually ‘till they kicked us outta here,” his mom explains, smiling widely.

They don’t wait ‘til staff asks them to leave, but they do listen to it enough times that Rhodey can’t take the lyrics off his head for the rest of the ride back home

 

Next week, Rhodey assumes like a death sentence. But as soon as he gets inside the main hall of the school, everyone's going on about their day.

He finds Tony just a minute after he’s in, waving Steve goodbye. Rhodey bumps into his half-raised hand, stiff in the air, waving at someone who had already disappeared. It makes Rhodey chuckle.

“All good, you lovey-dovey eyes?” he asks and Tony startles just a bit. It’s funny.

“Leave me alone,” Tony mutters, slightly pushing him.

“How are you guys?” Pepper greets them with a smile as she starts walking with them across the hall.

“Peachy. Enjoy that Rhodey’s returned to the land of the unimportant-otherwise-socially-dead,” Tony says.

“What d’you mean?” Rhodey says, his hands in his pockets.

“Nobody cares about that little R-rated video of yours,” Tony explains.

“What video?” Pepper asks.

“Seriously?” Rhodey asks, at the same time.

“Nothing, just Rhodey here going full Megan Fox on Amanda Seyfried with a fellow classmate back in the ski trip,” Tony comments and Rhodey almost has war flashbacks.

Pepper just give Rhodey a look that looks like ‘Really?’ and Rhodey just nods, hopeless.

“Well, I didn’t hear anything about it,” Pepper says.

“The Debate Society’s New Year’s Eve nitrous oxide scandal knocked it out of top spot. Plus, with my amazing hacking techniques, no one was able to re-post the video every time I had it taken down,” Tony says, raising his eyebrows proudly.

“Okay, so, that’s good news, then,” Rhodey says. “I’m officially back to being invisible,” he adds, just as the come near his and Tony’s lockers, where a bunch of people are gathered just looking, laughing.

Rhodey makes his way through the crowd to find his locker with a picture of the video attached to it and ‘It’s always the ones you never expect!!’ written with marker. Tony comes from his side and rips the picture off the locker.

Rhodey shakes his head repeatedly and takes off, full ready to face Hammer and his goons.

Bucky appears in front of him after he’s walked a several steps away from his locker and the crowd. “Hey, hey, hey. What’s going on?” he asks, stepping in front of Rhodey.

“You just didn’t really care to clear it up, huh? Just straight up let everyone think we had sex in the hot tub when you know we didn’t?” Rhodey asks, walking around him. “I bet you’re even glad that stupid video leaked,” he adds, just before he continues walking, giving Bucky his back.

Tony pushes the crushed piece of paper with the printed picture into Bucky’s chest. “Are you gonna do something about this?” he tells Bucky.

“Hey, you nosy bastards, listen up!” Bucky yells in the middle of the hall. “Not that it is anyone’s business but _nothing_ happened in the hot tub,” he declares and Rhodey stops on his tracks to listen. “So, if I hear anybody talking about Rhodes or that video, I’m gonna kick your asses. Ya’ll know what happened to Hammer,” he adds.

Tony and Rhodey exchange a questioning look.

Later in the day, Rhodey learns Hammer got suspended after he surprisingly came clean and confessed he had leaked the video. Of course, Tony’s detective-like self got deeper into it and learned that Hammer got terrified in a prank stunt the Water Polo team and a few other members of the athlete body pulled on him.

In short, Bucky had got Hammer suspended.

Rhodey would be lying if he said it didn’t make him smile.

“Are you sure about that?” Rhodey asks Sam, after Sam corroborates the story for him.

“Yeah, I would’ve gone myself, but it was during track practice. We talked, by the way, he’s an idiot but—maybe not such a bad idiot,” Sam says as they lay on the couch, a few days later.

Rhodey looks at him for a bit and then looks down. “I feel like I owe you an explanation,” he says, Sam looks up to him, waiting for him to continue. “I was really scared what I felt for you could’ve turned into something bigger, something that I couldn’t hold together. And I didn’t want us to be different, to stop being friends – I just, didn’t know what to do. But after I wrote the letter, over the time, the feeling just…started to wear off, and I really missed my friend Sam,” Rhodey explains, his hands clasped together.

Sam’s smile drops in a downwards curve. “Why didn’t you just tell me that? I feel like I’d have understood,” Sam says.

Rhodey just shrugs. “I really didn’t really realize until Bucky,” Rhodey admits, quietly.

“Right, Barnes…” Sam trails.

“I know you don’t like him,” Rhodey says, with an amused smile.

“I like how he stood up for you the other day,” Sam replies. “I mean, he should’ve done it a lot sooner but, then again, he’s a jock and they’re slow, so,” Sam says, giving a vague shrug. Rhodey pushes him on the shoulder. “You could tell he really cared, though, when he was plotting against Hammer,” he adds, in a more serious tone. Rhodey’s amused smile drops. “Look, if you miss him, why don’t you just tell him?”

“I can’t,” Rhodey says, blinking.

“Why’s that?” Sam asks.

“Because if it wasn’t real, then I didn’t lose anyone,” Rhodey replies. “But, if I say that it was real, and he still doesn’t want me…” he trails.

“Then at least you’ll know,” Sam says. “Rhodey, you gotta tell people how you feel when you feel it. You can’t just sit in your room writing love letters you’re never gonna send,” he adds. “I mean, Barnes wouldn’t even be in your life if they hadn’t gotten out in the first place.”

Rhodey lets out a breath. “Yeah, you definitely have a point,” he agrees, then sighs. “I don’t know, I’m just so tired of writing love letters. I mean, it’d be nice to be the one receiving them,” Rhodey mutters.

“Rhodey…” Jeanne calls from behind them, a box on her hands. “I have something for you,” she says, quietly. “Don’t kill me—it’s just that you were always throwing those away and I thought they were something you should keep,” his sister says as Rhodey takes the box.

When he opens it, he finds a bunch of pieces of paper folded with his name written on them with Bucky’s handwriting. “You saved all these?” Rhodey asks his little sister and she nods.

Rhodey takes the first one he sees and reads it out loud. _“Rhodey, everyone was so impressed by your presentation in lit, but especially me. I love having a smarty pants fake boyfriend,”_ reads one.

Both Rhodey and Sam chuckle at that one.

 _“It’s so cool how we can talk to each other about real stuff,”_ reads another one.

 _“You looked really good today,”_ reads another one, with even a tiny heart on it.

Sam takes a breath and looks at him. “Still think you haven’t gotten a love letter?”

Rhodey smiles, takes a look at the watch on the kitchen isle and takes a breath.

“If you drive fast enough, you might catch him before he leaves his practice,” Sam says, quirking one eyebrow.

Rhodey bites his lower lip and like a man who’s about to go mountain diving, he grabs his jacket and car keys and drives off to his school.

When Rhodey parks outside of the pool building of the school, he can see Bucky’s truck so he takes a deep breath and holds on to the steering wheel, his nerves slowly taking over his body as the adrenaline had worn off.

He opens the glove compartment and takes a tiny notepad of his out, rips a page out of it and writes ‘I really, really like you’. He re-reads it for about fifteen times before someone gets out of the building. Rhodey closes his fist, startled, but it’s not Bucky.

Rhodey shakes his head before he can coward again and gets out of his car, the piece of paper a little wrinkled in his closed hand.

As he struts into the pool room, he can see Bucky in the far distance. His pale-colored prosthetic arm coming in and out of the water as Bucky swam to the end, far back. Rhodey stands just a few steps away from the edge of the pool, his arms fallen to his side as Bucky reaches the other end and his head peeks out to take a breath.


End file.
